In a stunning turn of events, Vice President Cheney has pulled some strings and arranged for himself to appear on the reality-based singing contest program, American Idol. On Friday the 24th, during a campaign stop in Orlando, Cheney was
quoted as saying, "If [Democrats] are competent to fight [the Iraq] war, then I ought to be singing on American Idol." To prove his point, Mr. Cheney will appear live on the show next week.
A publicity photo released by the White House
of Vice President Cheney practicing for his
big number on American Idol.
The musical theme for the upcoming episode is "songs of the 21st century." There is some speculation about which song he might sing, but so far there are only scant rumors, since Mr. Cheney has protected his participation behind a thick veil of secrecy.
When exiting the backstage, Mr. Cheney was asked how he thought he was doing. He was quoted as saying, "Well, I haven't sung in a while, so it started a little rough. But I've definately turned the corner. I'm singing really well now, just really really super. Those other contestants are now in their last throes, and I'm confident that I will be greeted as a liberator by the audience."
When asked about what the experience has been like, he responded, "No complaints. Everyone has been fantastic to work with. I talked with the producer about maybe expanding the auditorium, since I'm expecting a massive audience turnout. He agreed and we've settled on a $239 million plan that has already gone into action." We've recently learned that Halliburton was awarded the construction contract.
American Idol airs this Tuesday at 8/7c on Fox.