As long as I have known them, my parents have been in-word-only Independents. As a feminist and all-around social liberal, my mother almost always votes the straight Democratic ticket. Ever a fiscal conservative (with just an awkward touch of homophobia and racism), my father consistently votes Republican. Their views were each so strongly held that politics was never discussed in the house, and around election time, they would both get downright peevish about the fact that they were effectively canceling out each other's vote.
So why wouldn't either of my parents ever actually register for their preferred party?
My mother articulated it best when she told me that she simply didn't trust any party, not even her Democrats, to control all branches of government all the time. She believed that absolute power corrupted absolutely. And she believed that government worked best when both sides had a stake in it and a healthy exchange of ideas flowed from their frequent disagreements. She bemoaned her inability to vote in her state's closed party primaries, but the principle of remaining an Independent was just too important for her to give up.
Like my mother, I tend to vote a pretty straight Democratic ticket. I found the symbolism of remaining an Independent touching, but in the end impractical, and I registered myself as a Democrat the day I turned 18. I call this party my own, and I lose umpteen hours a day lurking on sites like this one, obsessing over how my party is ever going to get its act together and get back in the game of government.
Growing up in my mother's footsteps, I have watched the national political scene with a righteous sense of indignation. I have seen the web of Republican cronyism, the bending of the rules to suit the purposes of the permanent majority and the silencing of dissent, and I have seethed, campaigned and complained to try to set things right and restore balance to a country that I fear has gotten dangerously off-kilter.
At the same time, I have often found the arguments here on DailyKos that the worst democrat is still better than the best Republican irksome. I may have gone ahead and registered as a Democrat, but I still prefer the formality of declaring that my vote is not a foregone conclusion (even if it usually is).
So what to make then of the state of politics in my adopted home state of Illinois?
When I first moved to Illinois in 2002, it was just in the nick of time to establish residency and be able to vote in the general election. I was proud to vote for a Democrat for governor and proud to be voting out the Illinois Republicans who had been mired in scandal.
Unfortunately, the glow started to wear off pretty quickly. Rod Blagojevich's governorship has been a source of constant disappointment. The governor and the two houses of the legislature, all dominated by Democrats, have been constantly at odds with each other, and it seems like nothing has gotten done. Lingering budget deficits and repeated cuts to state agencies and non-profits have made the Blagojevich name a dirty word among my friends who work and advocate in the social services fields.
Blagojevich himself has been behaving abhorrently. After sweeping out corrupt Republicans with promises of renewal and reform, the Blagojevich administration is now under investigation for a whole host of pay-to-play and kickback schemes. His comments about "testicular virility" made me ill, and the fact that he didn't know what the Daily Show was when he agreed to be on it was just plain embarrassing.
So what to do, now that Judy Baar Topinka seems to have overtaken him again in the polls?
I don't know. Part of me wonders if, like my mother said, having all branches of government controlled by the same party is bad - even if it is your party. Another part wonders if a moderate, female Republican would be all that much worse than a misogynistic Democrat.
Regardless, I'm taking a wait and see approach to this election. I'll vote for Blagojevich, but I don't think I can bring myself to campaign for him, and I'll be listening very closely to what both he and Topinka have to say...