In 1969 I was a grade 10 student at St. Peter's High School. My English teacher, Paul S., was a rookie. Cool. He had enormous sideburns, longish hair, wore John Lennon glasses, flared pants and beatle boots. He was unlike any other teacher at my school.
Late in the term he introduced me to Wanda Hickey. I haven't been the same since. Wanda should have come in a plain brown wrapper. Anyone could clearly see the Playboy bunny logo at the bottom of the bootlegged pages.
Forbidden fruit... come over here I've got something to show you. You might be surprised by what you see.
And Mary Scott don't you dare start yelling at me until I've finished. Gosh!
Well, uh, I didn't meet Wanda right away. Mr. S. needed to be sure the coast was clear. Class 10B consisted of boys and girls who were not quite the best quality. We weren't expected to do as well as 10A but felt ouselves to be considerably better than the creatures in 10D. Apparently he thought we could be trusted.
"Before we start I want you to know that the document on your desk can only be read in this class. No one is to remove it from the room. Is that understood? You may turn it over and begin." James Bond, Man from U.N.C.L.E and Mission Impossible were big at the time. "... Your mission should you decide to accept it, Jim ...".. The photocopied sheets were from Playboy! The story began with a man in a stupor before the TV listening to a science program about the initiation rituals of some primitive people in some far off place. It causes him to think of how a boy came to be a man at his high school prom in an Indiana steeltown.
It wasn't what I expected but it was Playboy! Before long the fastest readers were snorting to supress their laughter. "I had heard of studs before, but never in a tailor shop..." The rest of us caught up and the giddiness was contagious. Pretty soon we all started to guffaw.
But it was sweet too. Who couldn't feel for the guy too shy to ask a girl out? Who couldn't identify with the wallflowers? We were adolescents too close to the story. Our hormones were raging and the story moved us from tears to laughter and back again. I laughed until there were tears streaming down my face. That could be me in the story! Except we were learning from someone else's mistakes and it was funny. Well not all of us learned. My friend, Vern, yeah Vern, that's it, would use the story as a blueprint for his own personal Night of Golden Memories and Other Disasters two years later.
Eventually we met Wanda and followed the happy couple to the prom, then on to what would today be the "After" party. (I'm paraphrasing now) The Red Rooster would serve anyone on the far side of 12. "I'd heard my father order drinks so I followed his lead "I'll have a bourbon" I said. Then in a casual debonnair manner I hear myself say "and make it a triple", thinking it was a brand or something." There were so many of us howling by now the teacher next door knocked to ask us to keep the noise down." This story was unlike anything I'd ever read in class. Before the bell Mr. S. collected the documents. We never discussed the story, we didn't have to. Mr. S didn't have to say it, we knew that someone would " ...disavow any knowledge of our mission."
For more than 35 years I've picked up that story when I feel sad. Then it picks me up. I've bought more than 20 copies and loaned them to friends. None of them have come back, but I never expected them to. A few years ago I called my dad long distance, without a hello I started reading from "And make it a Triple" We both howled.
Then I started to wonder: When did we stop trusting young people to use their own best judgement?
Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories is a short story written by Jean Shepherd. It first appeared in the June 1969 edition of Playboy magazine. These days it can be found in "Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories and Other Disasters". Today many people know Jean's work from the movie "A Christmas Story" in which Ralphie is always being told "You'll shoot your eye out!"