After threatening Iran with nuclear weapons, it is now time we turned our attention to the Inevitable Consequences, specifically, Baghdad's Green Zone. Time for Halliburton to scare up about a billion cubic yards of rebar-reinforced concrete to surround the place like the world's biggest inverted ice-cream cone. Time to dust off the world's only atomic cannons (there are two). Time to raid the National Guard Armories in places like Des Moines and Cedar City for about a hundred or so Davy Crockett bazookas (yes, nuke-tipped.) Be sure to check to see the safety works.
And maybe now is the time to call on the ghost of Gene Roddenberry to spill the secrets of his Star Trek teleporters . . .because a whole lot of vacationers might need them.
History, for better or worse, repeats itself with depressing regularity. The President made his unfortunate "Bring em on!" challenge and the insurgents obliged.
Now, he---or someone in his administration---has done it again by rattling the nuclear sabre at the Iranian government, run by people not noted for backing down on much of anything.
Anyone remember the 1979 hostage crisis? Anyone remember how long the Iran-Iraq war dragged on? And more to the point: remember how the Vietnam war ended? As I recall, it was (a) all at once, and (b) badly---with people hanging on to the struts of departing helicopters. Some politicians, it seems, not only cannot understand recent history, they cannot resist sending the wrong message to the wrong people at precisely the wrong time. Threatening Iran with a nuclear strike is a perfect example of all of the above.
Now, there are those around who say Iran brought it all on themselves, and that's probably true. And it's something that any seasoned diplomat (James Baker comes to mind) could probably fix with enough time, money and secret deals.
But the White House version of diplomacy is to nominate the likes of the cartoonish John Bolton to the U.N.--someone infinitely better suited to a role on Power Puff Girls than beind a desk anywhere. In that climate, floating the idea of a nuclear strike seems par for the course. In fact, it is not only like kicking the hornet's nest, but holding the damn thing tight to our chest, then jumping up and down until the wasps respond en masse.
Which is what will likely happen.
Years back, an Iranian response might involve lobbing a few shells at a U.S. ship in the Straits of Hormuz. Today, with a serious Shiite pipeline deep into Baghdad that imports more nasty weapons than most of the old Soviet states combined, the Iranians have a more obvious target: Our vacation spot in the Heart of Chaos.
So, here's some advice for all you journalists, fact-finding politicos, peaceniks, agenda-merchants, adventurers, writers, hacks, hangers-on, military wanna-be's and everyone else who shouldn't be there under any circumstances. . .
After you set your Samsonites down in Baghdad's only safe area, after you take a dip in the pools, after you get the waiter to bring you a G&T, relax under the big umbrellas and before you really get brave and take snapshots over the wall from your hotel room balcony---just remember this: there is a high probability that history is going to repeat itself very soon, and in a very bad way. And unless the White House immediately drops its nuke scare tactics in exchange for diplomacy, you might be in for a rather exciting and dangerous time. Bon appitit.