The fact that Coulter is a racist, a misanthrope, and a fraudulent voter is overstated. She's a horrible writer as well. It just gets my snark up.
Although Ann Coulter is often criticized for the outrageous things she writes, it often covers for the fact that she is perhaps one of the worst writers on the bestseller list today. Anybody that has to constantly defend such pure Pulitzer Prize material that she writes as being misquoted is probably using
The Weekly World News as a style manual. After mangling fact, a history of histrionics, and a deficit of logic and common sense, I wonder how anyone would think that Ms. Coulter is greater than she herself thinks she is.
Yesterday, Coulter wrote a column called Brown is the New Black, which should start the ball rolling on her credibility. Her ambiguous title leaves it to the reader as to what she actually means, but my take is that apparently two races of people share the characteristic that they are darker than Ann Coulter. The theme of the essay is apparently minority's willingness to be victimized. And doesn't Ms. Coulter herself share this view herself, with her constant dodging of responsibility and blaming it on the "liberal media" for criticizing her for only being a woman who supposedly tells the truth? Let's move on.
Coulter starts her piece by asserting the following:
This is the only country on Earth that thinks it's not sporting to consider our own interests in choosing immigrants. Try showing up in any other country on the planet, illiterate and penniless, and announcing: "I've seen pictures of your country and it looks great. I think I'd like to live here! Oh, and by the way, would you mind changing all your government and business phone messages, street signs and ballots into my native language? Thanks!" They would laugh you out of the country.
What seems not to have occurred to the "NO HUMAN BEING IS ILLEGAL" crowd is that this is a country, not a public park.
I myself have never have never voted in a public park, but Coulter herself
may have tried. But I guess voting fraudulently is better than not voting at all. Coulter then spends two minutes on the internet and comes up with this:
America has a seller's market in immigration, but thanks to Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law, we no longer favor skilled workers from developed nations, but instead favor unskilled immigrants from the Third World. Kennedy's bill promptly cut the number of European immigrants in half and increased Third World immigrants to 85 percent of the total.
Now, I'm not a political genius. So my two minutes on the internet generated different results, namely that the 1965 immigration act is called the Hart-Cellar act. Now I know what you're thinking. They spelled Kennedy's name wrong on the bill! Twice. With a frickin hyphen. Truly one of the greatest embarrassments of this country.
The Kennedy-Kennedy Act broke two of the most important conservative tenets (The definiton of "tenet" of course being "slam dunk") in one fell swoop: it ended quotas, and it put family first. Ann Coulter rightly points out that if you put family before skills, you are no longer favoring skilled workers under the Kennedy-Kennedy Act, unless those family members just randomly happened to be skilled. And everyone knows that if you have unskilled black sheep Cousin Enrique and Hard Working Cousin Juan, unskilled black sheep Cousin Enrique must be the guy that doesn't live here and is trying to get his cousin to get him into the country. Are we clear? No? Keep reading.
Apparently, if I had only done the research, I would have found that what the Kennedy-Kennedy Act did was pose the following two controversial questions to potential immigrants:
1. Are you unskilled? Y/N
2. Are you from the Third World? Y/N
If both your answers were yes, come on in!
Coulter goes on to say:
Not surprisingly, post-1965 immigrants have sharply higher levels of poverty and welfare dependence.
All right, all right stick with me. I know what you're saying, "What about the Great Depression, nah nah nah". Coulter didn't live in the Great Depression, so wouldn't it be presumptuous for her to comment on it? She was only born in 1961.
Next:
It's as if we've got the last Xbox 360s available on Christmas Eve and instead of doubling the price, we're entertaining low-ball offers. Or more accurately, we're paying our customers to take the darn things off our hands -- and the customers are still indignant with us.
Aha! If I was a best selling author, I could not think of a clearer analogy than that. Isn't immigration just a video game that we don't know the secret codes to get more power ups so that we can access the secret levels and finally find all the Easter eggs? If I'm losing you, try to keep up.
And finally, someone who understands capitalism. Because there's also the extreme need to price gouge in this country. Coulter is clear: if it's needed, whatever it is, double it. Xboxes, toilet paper, electric scissors. Because if you don't double your prices, someone else will.
Bank robbers and drug dealers ought to start claiming that the words "bank robber" and "drug dealer" are akin to the N-word. They could accuse lawmakers of "criminalizing felonies" and claim they don't understand what the word "jailbreak" means.
and
So it's really more like we've got the last Xbox 360s available on Christmas Eve and the customers are not only demanding money to take the hottest sales item off our hands, but are verbally abusing us and acting petulant. I'm offended that you would even think about asking me to pay for the Xbox 360! You say it has a "20 GB detachable hard drive"? Well, would you use the word "kike"?
Again, she's so straight with us. When just calling lawbreakers by their name is a dirty word, what is the world coming to? I know what you're thinking, you Leftists, you. You're thinking, yeah, but why do her "dirty words" correspond to the exact association that racists make with certain races? The n-word with bank robbers and drug dealers? "Kike" with petty bargaining?
Sheesh, haven't you ever heard of coincidence?
More:
As hardworking as illegal immigrants are when they come here, they are immediately demagogued by liberals into adopting the victimhood pose so popular on college campuses. Everybody wants to act like his ancestors were brought here on slave ships.
There you have it. Where on earth did people ever think it was anything but a cakewalk to get into this country? Try getting in if you're Swedish.
Finally, Coulter ends on what is perhaps the finest conclusion she has ever made:
Meanwhile, Americans aren't allowed to consider whether millions of immigrants refusing to learn English and American history is "potentially dangerous to our communities." Here, please -- we'll pay you, just take the whole Xbox 360 factory.
Isn't it clear? Does she have to spell it out for you? Don't you understand what she's talking about?!!
No? Yes? No? Me neither.
I'm going out to buy a Weekly World News. If I read up on anything that will give me some gleaning on understanding her true genius, I'll get back with you...