In a surprise development today, President George W. Bush along with the board of directors of MBNA held a press conference. President Bush informed the media that he longed to have some way for history to remember his Presidency. He showed the media a dollar bill with George Washington on it and he showed the media a five dollar bill with Abraham Lincoln on it. He offered to show higher denominations, but he figured no one will ever see currency with that kind of value again.
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He wanted to rank right up there with Washington and Lincoln but he knew Congress would not authorize changing these denominations so today he issued a Presidential Declaration. Effective, January 1, 2009, every credit card issued by MBNA will have a picture of George W. Bush on it. Failure to use this credit card will be punishable under a Section in a code yet to be written.
On a brighter side, 1/100,000,000 of every dollar charged in interest will be donated to a charity of President Bush's choice. In the years 2009-2012, this money will be donated to the legal defense fund of Republican Senators and Congressmen trying to avoid being charged and sentenced for bribery and ethics abuse. In 2013 until changed, the charitable contributions will be used to support the families of those Republican Senators and Congressman that have been sentenced for bribery and ethics abuse. Additional contributions can be made with your monthly MBNA payment that you send in.
Unfortunately, there were no questions taken from the media at this press conference.