Today's Richard Cohen column in the Washington
Post, entitled "
My History of English-Only," is a virtually content-free stream of consciousness whose point -- if indeed it actually has one -- seems to be that, as a language, English rulez! but other tongues aren't so bad.
Yet, as with almost all of Cohen's self-indulgent maunderings, there's a nugget of truth to be gleaned from this latest column. Not about the relative value of the English language, of course: I'm confident Cohen could hold forth for weeks on that topic without perceptibly advancing it. Instead, Cohen provides an inadvertent glimpse into his character, and the character of many others who, like Cohen, supported and continue to support the spilling of other people's blood.
Cohen's column relates how his grandfather never learned to speak English, choosing instead to stay with the Yiddish spoken in his neighborhood in New York's Lower East Side. There are some odd inconsistencies to Cohen's narrative: for example, he claims his father "never spoke anything but" English, he also says his father "had to translate" for his grandfather. It seems unlikely he could translate for the old man but not speak his language.
For his part, Cohen says, "I peevishly ignored my Yiddish-speaking grandmother, adamantly insisting she speak English." For some children of immigrants, Cohen says, the mother tongue is "fustier" than English, or "embarrassing." But Cohen's claimed reason for turning a deaf ear to his grandmother was different, and his claim is revealing: "I thought I was being very patriotic."
Oh, very patriotic, indeed, Dick. But an odd sort of patriotism that leads a young man to reject an old woman's attempt to communicate with her own flesh and blood.
More likely, Cohen simply shared the embarassment he ascribes to his fellow youths, but prefers not to admit it. Still, patriotism is a handy excuse for so many things: you can attribute to it your callow disregard for your elders, or use it to justify killing innocents abroad -- arguing, as Cohen has, that we have to keep fighting in order to salvage "American prestige."
Cohen isn't the first to excuse himself by waving the flag, but in the end, he, like his fellows, simply serves as another example of Samuel Johnson's famous observation: "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."