This letter has already been published, but I think that it needs to be reposted in light of Haditha and the rest of the slaughters.
I have been getting reports like this for many months, but no one wanted to beleive it coul happen. i had many people accuse me of fabricating all the letters, but i think in light of all the recent media storuies, we can all see that i was months ahead of the mainstream media.
We are slaughtering the Iraqis! Would you like to have my job so I can come back home?
Letter from a Civilian Affairs Officer in Iraq
(Excerpted from Letters From Iraq Part 1: Suicide, PTSD, Mental Breakdowns and Unending Violence)
http://www.scoop.co.nz/...
( Editor's Note: This is one complete letter, excerpts from one to his friends, and some journals he kept. I have interviewed this person back in August of 2005 about PTSD. I have done three interviews with Civil Affairs personnel and had responses to a questionnaire from five others. Two of the respondents to the questionnaires have been deployed back to Iraq for six-month or one year tours.
I have conducted a very detailed interview with another Civil Affairs officer that will reveal how badly the rebuilding effort is going. I am in the final few days of getting it transcribed and it will be published by the end of the month.
I am also interviewing a US Army translator assigned to the Iraqi Army who was an eyewitness incidents of torture, murder of civilians and enormous atrocities that are being covered up by the CJTF7 (Combined Joint Task Forces-Iraq) chain of command.
Jay,)
I've got to be brief with this. I don't have the time or way to send you anything more detailed. I have to give you some barebones facts and let you dig up the dirt. I am also using you as a bitching post and whipping boy. You asked for it when you told me it was okay if I couldn't find any other way to vent.
I am really going to dump the sh.t pan on you this time. I never told you I was going back when they called me up. I was afraid you would publish that interview I had decided not to finish. I know you have a few hours of tape, but please do not give anyone a copy of my voice.
If I get back and work out how I am going to leave the Army then we'll talk about it. I need time to get my family used to what I will do before you make it impossible to back out of. I haven't told my wife or my parents what I am thinking. I don't know if they will disown me or hate me after that.
Just so you know what it really was about when I stopped talking to you. I'm sorry, but I was scared and not thinking right.
For the people reading this, I am a Civilian Affairs liaison in Iraq. I was put into this assignment in 2003 and again in 2004 against my very strong and repeated objections. I even have a written statement from the second time, which mysteriously disappeared.
I have been talking about this on message boards and other places. At one point I was prepared to put it all on the line and not care if they came after me. Then I really got sacred and decided this would be a better way. I want to make people understand that I AM A REAL SOLDIER!
Jay, I told you I was not going back to Iraq even if they arrested me. I am here after I was backed into a corner. I did not have time to file the paperwork to be deferred from deployment.
Why? Because they never told me I was on immediate deployment orders. I didn't find out until a week before I had to ship out. If I had refused the orders I would be in the brig right now waiting on court marital or UCMJ proceedings. I couldn't let that happen, but sometimes I wish I had so I wouldn't be here.
I did not want to be stuck with this job again. I did not want to live in the private hell that goes with it. I will have even more problems with my PTSD after this. It might be what makes it to hard to come back from. I was almost dead from the abuse of my medication last year.
I stopped taking most of it, but they do not know that. It was all just crap. It was not doing anything but making it harder for me. I take one of the trancs when I get really wired or can't sleep, but that other sh.t is worthless.
Never say that they will not deploy you because you are nuts. If there are soldiers out there who think it can't happen then you will have quite the wake up. I am supposed to be kept off of the deployment orders because of my medication (which I have not been taking over here). It is being over looked because I am in a "safe" non-combat job.
Another thing is that I AM NOT telling them if I do have some problems. I don't want to get locked up in one of the wards. I am crazy or nuts or just f..ked up in the head, but not stupid. I don't know how bad I really am, but I am not letting them play with my brain.
Jay, you need to check the pre-deployment medical screening to see what I mean. Look up AR 40-501 MSSMF.
Please do that because it is real important to prove it to the press. Make sure the media gets this and follows up on it. I hope they really do work it, but I don't have much faith that they will.
If it wasn't for you and some other people, I don't think anyone would really know the real sit-rep over here. I want to tell you that it has made a difference to me just knowing if I needed to, I could write and bitch to you.
(Editors note: Here it is for everyone to see, written in the Army's own Regulations.)
Army Regulation 40-501 Medical Services Standards of Medical Fitness (pdf)
www.usapa.army.mil/pdffiles/r40_501.pdf
(Updated 11-9-05)
5-14. Medical fitness standards for deployment and certain geographical areas
a. All soldiers considered medically qualified for continued military status and medically qualified to serve in all or certain areas of the continental United States (CONUS) are medically qualified to serve in similar or corresponding areas outside the continental United States (OCONUS).
b. Some soldiers, because of certain medical conditions, may require administrative consideration when assignment to combat areas or certain geographic areas is contemplated to ensure that they are used within their medical capabilities without undue hazard to their health and well-being.
(8) Psychiatric. Any disorder that has the potential to prevent performance of duty, even if controlled by medication, should not deploy.
(Ed: The underlined part is there in the original Regulation as published by the Army. I think that would mean that this guy should not have deployed under any circumstances. If he should not have deployed, than neither should anyone else on any type of medication that is life sustaining or affects the mental processes.
This shows just how desperate the Army is for soldiers to send into Iraq. This paints a clear picture of a military at the breaking point.
Will the mainstream, freelance, and independent press please look into this? Do you believe in reporting the truth, or just what is acceptable to the US government? I have every form and regulation you will ever need to write this up. I have a huge list of links to research and other news articles and documents that will expose a huge hidden factor behind many non-combat and combat deaths in Iraq.)
Also see:
Any Soldier Will do For the Pentagon
By Gene Gerard
Published by The Modern Tribune, November 9, 2005
http://www.themoderntribune.com/...
They feel it is a loophole they can use to get around the very strict deployment guidelines. It will not be discovered on the part of the soldiers till it's too late to stop. I know that three other CA people have been f..ked around the exact same way. I know that everyone of us had no idea we were still deployable.
I think they found the worst place they could have put me in. I might not be out there getting shot at, but this is the worst type of hell I could think of. I am not the one under fire but I deal with the people who are.
I am certified as a ------------ ------ -------- because it is a requirement of my employer agency. It does not mean that I want to see dead or wounded people in Iraq. It does not ever say in my records that I am the expert on how much to pay for civilian damage claims.
I am not ever going to let them do this to me again. I am not ever signing another contract no matter how big a bonus they offer me. I will not help them to pay out blood money. I will not be the one who puts a price on a child or innocent victim's life! Well, I am stuck doing it now, but I will not do it again! EVER!
I am resigning my commission when I get through this deployment. I am one of the "lucky ones" with the plush six-month tours. If I am lucky than I want to meet someone else who has a worse job.
I am the person who interviews the Iraqis when they come in with a claim for damages due to U.S. or Coalition Forces actions or mistakes. That means when someone's child dies I am the one deciding the amount of money we pay out.
That means I determine if there is cause for a claim and look into the details of the incident. This exposes me to dead and wounded children, grieving parents and even worse, children who have lost their parents and are orphaned and abandoned.
I see kids with their limbs missing, blinded, burnt and scarred from explosions and bullets. They are suffering in unrelieved agony from all sorts of grievous wounds. I make the final decision on if we pay, and what the amount will be.
I can't live with myself most nights, especially after a day of seeing wounded kids. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't even watch TV or read a book. I am not able to cope, because I had no training or background for this.
They never even gave me an official Army briefing or any idea of how to get this done. I had to watch the rest of the people and learn as I went.
I tried to explain that I do a completely different form of counseling and work back at home. I do not have training to deal with grief and that kind of situation. I know how to do it, but I never focused on that aspect at home.
So if I am not in that kind of employment or even cross-trained, what am I here for? Why are they making me deal with the very thing I hate the most?
By the time the Iraqis get to me it is far beyond my limited help or counseling training. They don't want my condolences or words of compassion. Why would they even believe I cared after they had another American kill or maim their children?
I cannot do anything to help the parents or children. I just throw my blood money at them and turn to the next person whose life has been destroyed. I am going to get shot for saying blood money, but I feel it's true. I dare anyone to come here and do my work for a week and then say it is not true.
It's not the type of thing that can really help when a kid is missing an eye or an arm. You look at them and know you are only going to give them several thousand dollars (at the most). It is always very evident they will never recover from what we did or caused.
How can you tell a parent that their child will never walk or play again? You are forced to tell them the child only gets $3000 for their missing legs!
Why are we doing this? Why? WHY?
I just can't see any real reason for the troops to stay here. That's because I keep processing hundreds of people through our little office. Even if we are only responsible for about 25% of the cases then we need to get the hell out right now.
That is about the average for the claims that I see. About 75% of the deaths are from them (Iraqi insurgents, civilian resistance, Arabs from outside Iraq, and other internal factional fighting) and 25% our soldiers or other C-Forces and the Iraqi police and army.
If they kill each other I can't stop it. They will figure it out when we take our asses back home. We need to pull out let them see that about 75% of this is their fault.
Why are we still getting this many direct cause incidents after three years? Why are all the action reports not telling the truth and deliberately leaving out the incidents when the news even verifies it?
I want to know why we as a country would hide the fact that innocents die every day. It is well documented for three years and we still don't really do anything to prevent it.
We are not close to a bigger city so I am amazed by how many people are coming in here every day. When I first got here there was about 10-20 a week making claims for damages. Now it is at least 20-30 a day!
Last month we paid out claims on over 300 children who had been injured and over 70 that were killed. There have been over ----- civilian claims paid out for our over-all AO in the time I have been keeping notes and records.
One of the most disturbing things was what a little girl told me the other day. She said that when American soldiers smile it's like seeing a skull looking at you. She said that every time they see a smiling American someone dies in their village.
They are right on a major MSR (Military Supply Route) so when we come by with convoys they end up caught in the crossfire. The insurgents pick spots near their village to set off IEDS and do ambushes. Right after the convoys gets through the attacks they come rolling into this small little crossroads village.
Anyone that moves the wrong way usually gets killed because the soldiers are still pumped up and ready to "get some back". I know that most of those recent casualties in that village have not been hostiles. They were just in the wrong spot after the troops got their clocks cleaned.
You know we don't kill innocent people though. It is not happening from what our official statements and records reveal. How many 5 year olds do you know of that are carrying an AK-47? When is the last time you saw a 10-year-old girl running around with an RPG?
That is my take on things. I might be wrong, but I see the people and know the truth. I have a child in my office area right now that has no foot and half her face blown off. The after-action reports on ---- ----- and when ------ ------ ----- ----- says there were no civilians killed in that village.
--- -------- ------- had already said that if they got attacked anywhere within a few miles of the village that they would go back in and light the whole place up. It just made the insurgents even angrier and the next convoy through there lost four soldiers.
---- ------ ------ said that he took out someone in a window a few days later and when they fell in the street that it was a little girl. He says she had an RPG! ------- -------------- and exact way a few days later. They said the kid had an AK-47. NO! NO! NO! Why did they do that!
I told them that all it would do was make every able-bodied man in that village want to kill more of us. I told them it would make the insurgents focus more on the village and the outskirts. I repeatedly said this from the viewpoint of someone who was/is hearing it directly from the villagers.
(Ed- He puts in some names and more specific details, but I will not release it without secondary confirmation.)
The next few weeks proved what I mean about that. In that area around the village there were 12 US KIAs and about 15 WIAs. It HAD been an average of about 5-10 a month around this area with a lot of them getting killed down the MSR about 15 miles.
THE REPORT:
(Ed-I do not know if this is part of an official report or if he was paraphrasing it.)
NO CIVILAINS KILLED. ONLY THREE INSURGENTS- RE: ------- ------ incident where the ----- --- patrol took sniper fire and one MAN was observed to be holding an RPG. (Repeated) I again state that there were no civilian casualties observed or reported. This is despite the claims of several civilians that a large amount of fire was deliberated directed towards some civilians and an unknown and unnamed junk peddler.
The villagers I talked to said the patrol just opened fire on a hajji stand. The child was clearly visible to be standing approximately 12 feet from any cover. She had a red and blue scarf over her head with a green and blue dress on. There were also three other children in a twenty-foot radius of the injured child and a crowd of women was within that area as well.
So I guess our guys can't see a kid with a red scarf, or see the colors blue and green? Well, no, not in the middle of having your ass blown off. I know because I have been in the same situation and will live with that forever. What upsets me is that they had been on the road at least ten minutes after the attack.
It still makes me wonder if they didn't give a damn and just opened up on everyone out of anger or retaliation. The next few weeks were really the things that I can't ever forgive them for. I can excuse the first time, but not the rest of the cases. I paid claims on some, so the details were not made up.
(Ed-I have removed several complete paragraphs of other examples that he wrote about. I think what I left in enough to make the point he wanted.)
I can understand it happening, but the lies and deliberate cover up is not right. I see a majority of the after action reports that are completely fabricated and it has to be a deliberate thing.
I know it is bad that we would kill a child or injure one by mistake. I know it is also against our official policy to count the dead or admit it. Check the news. The media does cover it even when we try to shine it on.
It might make us more human if we start to admit what this war is making us do. It is a way to keep this from killing the soldiers after they get the guilt that won't go away. I know how many guys live with the thoughts and agonizing turmoil of doing what it takes to stay alive.
If we were not still over here then we would have to kill people who were innocent. That might be too simple a conclusion but it is all I can think of. It is a conclusion that I have been unable to override with any official propaganda.
To sum it up for everyone to understand, the child is here and has no foot (a villager without any formal medical training cut the mangled foot off and cauterized the stump with a piece of red hot tin). She has a severe case of gangrene starting to rot up into her leg.
It looks like she will not live more than a day or two. I think that even if we get here to a hospital that can take care of her, it will not help. It has been a week and I am pretty good at recognizing this when it comes in. I try to help children who will die no matter what I do. Not being able to save them makes you want to curl up in a ball under your desk and die.
I am waiting on the medical people right now. I will probably pay out a death claim from the looks of it. I don't think there is anything else I could say that gives a better sit-rep (situation report.) Well, that should give you something to think about. I didn't make it up or polish it up to sound better. IT HAPPENED!
I saw the video you put out with all the kids. I can't watch it, but I saw that it was probably one of the most powerful videos anyone has put out.
OMT (Ed: One more thing)
To the people of America:
If you want to see what I have clean up then watch it. What's five minutes of your time when these children will never have the same comfort or luxury? Take a look at it!
If you people don't believe that this is true or coming from soldier then take a look at the video Jay Shaft has sent out to us. If you think that it is not going on then why not take a little time for education. It can't hurt you can it?
I was able to forward it to some of the guys on the crap end of the stick. I saw a salty old E-7 with tears running down his face after he looked at if for less than a minute.
(Editor's note of record- I did not know he had even seen the video. It came as a real surprise that it is making it over to Iraq. I sent a copy of the video without the captions or credits to several Vets who served in Iraq, and have contacts in their old unit.
I have received letters from a few soldiers who are outraged that I could make something so offensive and graphic.
I will say the same thing now as I did in letters written back to them.
It is only the truth and reality o f day-to-day life in Iraq that I put in that video. The pictures all came from the AP, Reuters, AFP, Yahoo and several other open news feeds. The total picture of this war is one where both sides are represented with the true nature and number of casualties this ongoing con flict has caused.
WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS VERY GRAPHIC AND BLOODY SCENES OF WOUNDED AND DEAD CHILDREN! PLEASE BE AWARE OF THIS BEFORE YOU SEE IT.
http://www.indybay.org/...
I have also put this video out again to mark the 2325+ US soldiers killed and the 17,700+ wounded and to observe the three years of occupation and carnage in Iraq.
Victory In Iraq? Winning Hurts! 2320+ Dead, 17700+ Wounded
http://stpeteforpeace.org/...
All you people out there in HA! HA! Land need to see that THIS IS NO JOKE!
If you don't believe me, then isn't a picture worth a 1000 words? I think that there are about 200 pictures in that video. I still can't get through to the end, but maybe you can.
"SCREW YOU GUYS I'M GOING HOME!"
See ya in hell, because I got here first.
FTP! FTA! FTG!
(Editors Note: This is an acronym for F..k The Pentagon, F..k The Army!, F..k The Generals)
Mr. Blood Money
*****
ALSO SEE
Letters from Iraq - Part 2: When Soldiers Can't Take Any More Violence and Death
(If I Killed a Child am I a Murderer? I Need to Know!
From a Christian soldier in Iraq with blood on his hands
April -- 2006
Someone, anyone, can you help me?)
http://www.williambowles.info/...