My husband got laid off yesterday.
They are "restructuring" the company to "maximize market flexibility". My husband is 48 years old, with only a high school diploma - what "market flexibility" does he have? He's a good man - he's a great employee, he always works hard, does the right thing, plays by the rules and yet he gets screwed. My poor husband is such a ... what's the word? Fair? Logical? I can't express it - but he is so disappointed that all this time he thought that if he lived his life a certain way, he'd get a certain result - do you know what I mean? That's how he was raised. After this - the third layoff - he feels as if he's in the middle of a life sized board game that he MUST play, but cannot understand. What are the rules? How do you "score"? How can you avoid "losing"?
He is perplexed. He is shocked. He was getting raises, great reviews - what does it take in this day and age to have a secure job? This is his third time being "downsized" - I have one under my belt, too. We will never ever again take our jobs for granted, we'll never feel the luxury of imagining ourselves "irreplaceable". It's horrible to feel this uncertain. We (employees) will put up with anything our employers do just so we can keep our jobs. "Do what you want to me - just please dear God don't fire me!"
He grew up in Gary, Indiana. All of his older brothers worked at "the mill" - the Steel Mill, that is. They are all going to (or have already) retired from the mill - with full benefits, thanks to their union. The first time my husband was laid off was from the mill. His brothers are the LAST of a dying breed - those who can work at the same job from high school graduation to retirement, I don't think ANY of us can count on that - ever again.
I think about my husband's brothers - his cousins and uncles, too - anyone who was able to stay on at the mill, they are solidly in the upper middle class. Their houses and cars (plural! more than one!) are paid for. They all had a gaggle of kids, some of them now have kids and houses and cars of their own. The mothers were able to stay home - they never HAD to work. If they worked, it was for "fun money". Their children are in or have been to college. They are the very picture of shiny happy upward mobility.
My husband - without a union job or a college degree (not that a college degree is even a guarantee anymore) spent most of his working life at just a few dollars above minimum wage. Me, too. The only difference between us is that I like computers so I was able to luck into places that had on the job training (I am less expensive to hire than a college grad) so I am now doing okay.
We share one car. Even though we are in our upper 40s, we only bought a house 7 years ago (his brothers reached that benchmark WAY younger than us). We have no children - by choice, as it turns out, but if we HAD wanted children, how the hell could we afford them? We can barely pay the medical and pet food bills for the four leggeds in our pack.
Every month it is a juggling act to pay some bills and put the rest off to the next check. Heck - I'm not telling you all anything new - most of you are in the same boat. We understand that many people are doing WAY worse than we are, and we are very grateful for all that we have.
BUT - dammit - why can't we have a life like his brothers? Solid, dependable, safe, secure? If they need to go to the dentist - they just go. I've needed to go to the dentist for about 2 years now. When their kids turned 16, they got cars. They take vacations - real vacations where you travel to another place and stay in hotels - what must that be like? When someone dies (both Mom and Dad died in the last five years) they can afford a really nice funeral. (Do you have ANY idea how much a funeral is nowadays? It's crazy.)
At Christmas, (and this is where I feel the saddest) they have a tree with presents piled up high underneath it. A table groaning under the weight of all the food, surrounded by family that flew in from all corners to share the occasion. When I remember my childhood Christmases at my grandparents, compared with Christmas now - it makes my heart ache. Here, now - it's just another day. At least we have a day off.
I said all this to say - here is the line - my husband and I are here, his brothers over there. THERE is where the middle class was, HERE is where the NEW middle class is. More and more Americans live like us, I'd be willing to bet, than them.