This is just a small part of the journey we took to keep our three grandchildren safe. Our son and daughter-in-law,gave us our first grandson. She then became pregnant with twins. The family independent agency became involved when their son was eight months old. The physical and emotional abuse from this lady towards myself, my family and their baby was horrendous. Leaving the baby in the bathtub alone, (caught on tape)trying to smother him, with her hand,( we witnessed and stopped her), not giving him prescribed medicine for sickness(she said boys die anyways)Join me on the flip, please.
Physically assaulting me, and in the process, harming their son, who was in the way, between us, assaulting our son,her husband also.
The twins were born.A boy and girl.We started to notice, she wasn't feeding the baby boy. He would fall asleep during his feeding, and when he would wake up crying for formula, she would refuse to feed him, she would tell me and the county nurse, "he had gas". I took her for their checkup. I questioned their doctor why, with their mother's family history of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, why they had not ordered genetic testing on the two boys. They checked the medical records, and our daughter-in-law, had never put this information down for the pediatrician to see. They had been living with us since their first baby was born. About a week later,after the doctor visit, all hell broke loose. She was taking care of the twins, and I had quit my job to help her with the oldest baby. He was now fourteen months old. She kept the twins in a bedroom with a gate on the door. Somehow their oldest son got in the room, where she was with the twins. I heard a slap, and he came running to me crying,I picked him up. She was carrying their baby girl. She just lost it, she swung at me, hitting me in the face several times. I got the phone, and in her trying to get it away from me, she hit me again with the phone. This was the forth physical attack on me and the kids in thirteen months. I ran outside, and dialed 911.I had to get out of the house, knowing I had to leave the twins with her, if I didn't get out, I know to this day, either she would have killed me or our oldest grandson. As soon as the police arrived they immediately went in the house to check on the babies. They were okay. I had never reported these attacks before, only to the social worker at the FIA. She was arrested.
There was physical abuse evidence on the twin boy. The first time I tried to give him his bottle, his head, arms, head and whole body flailed around. I took my hand and massaged his face very gently for quite sometime, till he finally took his bottle.(Obviously something was done to terrify him, for him to react like this.) Finally after several times of this massaging, including one time in front of the county nurse,he stopped reacting in this way. Through the months and years that past, if anything would frighten him, he would put up two fingers and say "poo" and I would rub his cheek, and he would be fine. "Poo" turned into a word to him, that represented bunnies. Through the years, he has a huge assortment of stuffed bunnies. Big ones, small ones, white, pink, blue, and yellow ones,handmade ones,and a white one,his special education attorney gave him,(another story for another time.)
After we got settled down in taking care of these angels, we made an appointment with a genetic clinic. They took blood samples from all three children. Boys get Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, girls are carriers. Their birth mother had three brothers who passed away from DMD, at thirteen, sixteen, and twenty years old. We were told by the genetic counselor, that they were looking for CPK levels in the blood samples. Normal for boys is 245. CPK leaks from dieing muscles in DMD. The results came in as follows; oldest grandson ok, CPK at 241, baby girl not a carrier, and baby boy CPK at 2700. A muscle biopsy was performed on baby boy when he was seven months old, and it confirmed diagnosis of Duchenne's. We started physical therapy immediately on him.
All this time and continuing for sixteen more months, birth mother is allowed court ordered supervised vistations. Our son turns his authority of the children over to the court, which helped immensely, as birth mother was fighting us every step of the way. These visitations were horrible, and never included the birth mother even trying to bond with the boys. She totally ignored the baby boy, even in front of the social worker. I never will forget what our youngest grandson(baby boy twin) did on what was to be her last visitation with the children. He was almost two, he came outside to see who was visiting, he looked at his birth mother started to cry, and told me he was going back in the house to sit with Poppa. He knew he was not wanted by this woman (heartbreak after heartbreak for this little guy.. She also tells the social worker and her attorney, she would rather have her children adopted out to foster care, then allow us to have them.
In the mean time, they have another baby, even though they are now divorced. They go to a jury trial to keep this baby and this baby girl is taken away from her. Through her attorney she asks, if we would allow her sister to adopt the baby girl, she will allow us to adopt these three children. What a horrible decision to make, after much discussion with her sister, to make sure these children would be able to see their baby sister we consented to this arrangement.Thank God, they are finally safe from any more harm.
The oldest is now twelve, and almost six feet tall. The twins are eleven. She's beautiful. He is still walking, with hands on assistance and his walker but must use his wheelchair,because he tires very easily.He is also almost six feet tall.They have brought so much joy to our lives, they have given us more than we could ever give them. They do not see their birth mother, they do see their baby sister. When by chance we see her family, they call the oldest by his name, and the twin girl by her name, but refer to twin boy as "the other one".
I realize I can't put myself in my ex-daughter-in-laws or her families shoes. They lost all of their sons to DMD. In my heart though, in any decent human beings heart, it is not our youngest grandson's fault.They call me momma, and my husband Poppa.
To this day, whenever I read about a child, that is abused, or killed by their own mother or father,I say a prayer for their little souls, and in my heart I know, that if these children were not taken away from this woman, she would have done much more harm to them. I know especially with baby boy, and her not feeding him his formula she would have starved him to death.There is much more to tell,but I've done enough talking for now. Love your children, they are our future.