I have not diaried enough lately; i've been too busy finishing a dissertation...I defend this Thursday. anyway, if i still had a "real" diary, this is what i'd write in it today.
I was on my stoop this morning editing footnotes when two pit bulls came into my yard and began killing my cat. In the 15 seconds it took me to go inside to grab someting to beat them with, they had killed Habenero. i had to beat one of the dogs to get what was left of my tiny, tiny cat from its mouth.
So i'm walking around my neighborhood with a 3 foot piece of half inch diameter corrogated steel that was left over from an art project...long story.
I can't quite describe what it is like to have something come out of nowhere and kill someone, yeah, one, that you are so close to...and then to be so helpless. fuck.
all i wanted to do was swing the bar into the head of those two pits...hard. and i was quite ready to do so, walking from house to house muttering "vengance" to myself because i am really tired of helpless life forms being blindsided and massacred. but not too tired to become part of the problem.
did i mention that my shirt was off, that i was crying, cussing, that i've got a few tatoos, that i looked like the last person you wanted to talk to? it's 95 and humid in atlanta and i'm sweating, cussing, crying, shirtless, swinging a piece of steel. and this old lady sitting on her porch asks me what's wrong. we still sit on porches down here.
so i explain.
she says she's sorry, and she tells me killing the dogs won't do anyting about the people who turned the dogs into killers.
while this is very true, it is the last thing i wanted to hear...the first thing i needed to hear, but the last thing i wanted to hear...
she gave me a glass of water and I sat to drink it. and i'm sitting there and the two dogs come out from the other side of the street. the coldness had left me, and the rage had left me, but damnit if part of me didn't really want an eye for an eye.
i followed the dogs to their home. rather than kill the dogs, which i planned on doing, sorry, really, i am....i called the police, who came (a first in my part of Atlanta)and i am taking the owners to court.
it turns out the dogs have killed 3 cats in the past 2 weeks.
Now, as i sit here typing this, waiting for my wife to come home so we can bury a cat who used to sleep on me in the winter, i feel sorry for the dogs.
fucking liberals.