Crossposted from MY LEFT WING
I am doing my level best not to sink into an abyss of hopelessness over the current state of affairs, here and abroad. Not that they're separable, really. No one will ever convince me that the Bush regime hasn't had its dirty little fingers in everybody's pies over there -- and it just galls me no end that these motherfucking scumsucking evil douchebags from hell have their hands at the wheel. And here we all sit in the passenger seat, holding on for dear life, no seatbelt, no airbag...
When will the revolution come? Will it ever come? Or is this country such a behemoth in terms of scope and population that all they'd have to do is shut down the internet and we'd all be fucked? And how might they shut down the internet? Oh I dunno... fuck up the electrical grid.
I watched a History channel show about the Iranian revolution and was actually ENVIOUS. Not of the religious fanaticism, obviously -- but of the passion of ALL those people, gathering in the streets. Even after the Shah's military shot hundreds of them in the streets, they came back twice as many the next day and the next...
And Mexico -- that's heartening, I guess. Except I have this fatalistic horrid feeling it will all come to naught.
And that the only countries whose people ever manage to revolt against their despots (in their own countries, as well as the American despots behind the curtain) turn to despots to do it.
Can we do it differently? Can we have a peaceful revolution? Or will there always be, behind the scenes, unknown to most, these maniacal machinations of evil, selfish men -- the kind of men who can look at pictures of bloodied, dying babies and write them off as "Collateral Damage?"
I just don't know. I need some courage today, some balm for the open wound of my bleeding heart.
I made the mistake of watching The Deer Hunter yesterday; all I could think, throughout that interminable and soul-killingly-depressing film, was that NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Nothing.
Except... wait. One thing has changed. There are a lot more of us who aren't buying the bullshit anymore. Maybe that's something. Maybe we can hang our hopes on each other and ourselves. If the internet goes out, do we have a way to communicate with each other? Have we established offline connections to each other, do we have meeting places planned?
I guess some people might think me paranoid. But given the state of the world today -- the systematic erosion of the rights to privacy, the uniformly propagandist voice of the corporate media, the escalation of violence in our name and in the name of some mythical concept of "freedom and democracy" that is clearly antithetical to its original meaning -- my god, do you realise that a "terrorist" is now synonymous with "anyone we SAY is a terrorist?" That is terrifying. It is, in fact, terrorism of a very subtle and unmistakable type. It is state terrorism.
How many times have you seen someone post a comment to the effect that he was afraid to put a bumper sticker on his car because of the inevitable vandalism he would endure? How many people bite their tongues at work, rather than speak out when they hear someone parroting the state propaganda, for fear of retribution in any form? I abstained from attending a peace rally downtown because I didn't have a babysitter and couldn't be certain of my son's safety if I brought him -- I couldn't be certain that a peaceful protest would remain so -- and it wasn't my fellow protesters I feared.
I want to see V for Vendetta again -- just for that final scene. Just for a little hope, that eventually, given enough motivation, "the people" might rise up against their oppressors. I will conveniently neglect to reflect on the probable denouement to the story...
I want to live in denial and illusion lately. Reality is so painful. I passed the Hummer dealership yesterday -- they're doing a brisk business. WHAT WILL IT TAKE?