Let me introduce myself, my name is Gizmo better known as Momster's Grand dog. I am quite famous in these parts for my gossip column which appears in my humans' monthly Real Estate news letter. I submit a sample article that you might taste the flavor of my writing skills.
Gizmo's Gossip Corner
Boy, do I have a story to tell you humans. As you may know, I have been king of my humans' castle for 3 years. Well, lo and behold, for some strange reason, I guess my humans' felt that one king wasn't enough for this castle and brought home a new Shih Tzu puppy! I not-so-lovingly refer to him as "Poopy." Although everyone, (and I do mean EVERYONE) says he is the cutest puppy ever, I'm afraid I don't see the attraction. I mean, he has the most annoying habits. When they brought him home all he did was cry, poop, pee, eat and ruin stuff inside MY castle. He still has this weird habit of taking all our stuff outside through our doggie door, shoes, toys, whatever fits through the hole goes out and never makes it back inside.
Anyway I heard my humans' saying something about me needing a companion. I sure wish someone had asked for my opinion I would have told them in no uncertain terms that there is only room for one king on this throne. As a matter of fact, I put the new dog Moose in the "OUT" basket in my humans' home office. I keep waiting for someone to take him "OUT," but to my dismay, each morning I waske up to find him still here.
After 4 months of this indescribable torture, it's beginning to appear that he's here to stay. There are, however 2 silver linings that I see. First. the new Poopy still has to sleep in the "brig" at night (my humans' call it a "crate," but to me it looks like a prison) while I sleep in my regal human bed, appropriately covered in my faux ermine blanket. The other silver lining is that when my humans' go out of town, I'm the only one that gets to go to Grandma's house, and boy does Grandma treat me like the king that I am. At least she knows when she's in the presence of true royalty.
I hear my humans' say the other dog goes to someone named Carol's house. Now I don't know who this Carol person is, but I'm sure Moose dosen't get treated as well as I do.
Well people , I will keep you posted on the trials and tribulations of having 2 kings in 1 castle. With any luck on my part, I will forever be "The King."
*****
Last month Grandma Ellie went to a convention in Las Vegas titled Yearly Kos. Since she returned home to the "Big Love" country where white supremacy, bigotry and racism reigns, all we have heard is what a glorious time she had and all the wonderful people she met. She even claimed to have met 3 of her favorite blog kings Markos, John Aravosis and Duncan Black in one fell swoop the first five minutes of her arrival, not to mention meeting Harry Reid, Arianna Huffington, Joe Wilson Jack Carter the list goes on and on...blah, blah, blah. We were kinda skeptical about all this bluster until she received a video from some nice guy in New York named Mark Bowllan who had captured much of her story on film. Now he is on her forever grateful list joining biscobosco, fabooj, Elisa and Gina Cooper, etcetera. She learned how to do her first Daily Kos diary while there. She tells me it was a hit thanks to biscobosco. Grandma acquired the alias "momster" at the convention, (something to do with the blogosphere and anonymity) unfortunately that handle "momster" doesn't pass the spell check test!
Grandma has been quite upset of late, moping around feeling sorry for herself wishing she had just a tad of James Wolcott's literary genius and wit which would be helpful in composing her Kos Diary blog. She felt better when I pointed out she and Wolcott have both politics and bird watching in common. I stepped up to the plate offering my help, though I have no idea what "blog" means, sounds like a four letter word to me! Now, I must admit my political knowledge is rather limited, but my ears perk up when I hear Grandma ranting and raving that the current administration is ruled by a gang of megalomaniacs. She really goes ballistic when she hears names like Bush, Cheney, Rumsfield and Rice, labeling them "The Axis of Weevil." The mere mention of the name "Rove" sends me scampering for my under the bed comfort zone to avoid the inevitable torrent of expletives, including a few `doozies`she hoisted from the internets. Seems she has an affinity for some folks named Valerie and Joe and she's mad as hell she didn't get her Fitzma (what ever that is).
Grandma is on a crusade to save the soul of America, championing social justice, equality and world peace. She's knee deep in local politics, at last months Democrats for Southern Utah luncheon she was asked to speak of her experience at the Yearly Kos Convention which was well received. She is putting all her time, energy and donations into local and state politics, supporting Pete Ashdown in his U. S. Senate campaign to "Scratch-Hatch." She almost blew a gasket when some wiseacre quipped "thats like nailing green jello to a tree," but determined she is.
Boxer, Feingold, Murtha and Reid are on top of momster's favorite list, some guy named Obama was just deleted, but that's another story we will discuss in the next post. She tells me Markos is getting the "Swift Boat" treatment which just proves he and his Kossacks do have THE POWER.
Momster sends an appeal to all Utah Democrats to circle the wagons for the battle in getting our candidates elected. She sends warmest wishes and hugs to all she met at Yearly Kos.
