VaMPKiSS1 already went to the
top of the charts on Ms. Liberty Memphis, but I put a lot of work into an alternate news story with a positive spin from the New Yorker's POV. And the photoshop job is alright if I do say so myself.
Cross posted at Ressentiment
July 5, 2006
New York City, New York - Only one day following 4th of July celebrations in New York Harbor officials unveiled amazing modifications to the Statue of Liberty which were completed by tens of thousands of highly motivated New Yorkers in a flurry of construction that started immediately after the fire works last night. Welders and high steel workers from all over New York's construction sites extended their 4th of July celebration to perform emergency surgery on Ms. Liberty.
"You don't mess with New Yorkers and you don't mess with America," said one very tired steel worker from the Bronx. The surprise overnight refitting is in response to a scale replica of the famous statue uncovered by the World Overcomers Outreach Ministries church in Hickory Hills near Memphis Tennessee. The Memphis replica, named the Statue of Liberation through Christ, replaces New York's beloved torch with a large Christian cross, which many New Yorkers took as a not-so-subtle message from Hickory Hills to America that Judaism and non-Christian religions are unwelcome in the erstwhile secular nation.
The $250,000 Hickory Hills replica is mounted on a base made to appear like the tomb of Jesus and represents Ms. Liberty holding a tablet with the Ten Commandments. The original tablet in New York says "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free." The word Jehovah in capital letters adorns the Hickory Hills Ms. Liberty where the observer windows are located in her crown in New York.
Another tired steel worker was quoted as saying "$250,000 huh. Who are they trying to kid? We got beams that cost twice that much in New York. Overcome this."
The project was organized by several construction site managers during the Independence Day fire works who called their crews on their cell phones. Immediately after the celebrations, construction workers began arriving at Ellis Island on private water craft which were in danger of sinking under the weight of New Yorkers eager to get to work. Several crews were delivered by a helicopter pilot who heard about the project on his police scanner and started picking up guys all around Manhattan. "I'm just dropping these guys off, and I'm going back for more. We're going to show Hickory Hills how it's done," said Marty O'Shea. New York City Fire Boats quickly changed over from parade duty to troop transports, and they took workers out to the Island until 4 AM when the island was completely full.
The giant Menorah was just luck said volunteer construction supervisors. It was salvaged from a large Marti Gras order which was held up by complications from Katrina. It was supposed to go up in New Orleans as a sign of All-American good will at the annual festival. One supervisor said, "We would have put up anything we could find to show those Memphians what's up, but it worked out good with the Menorah."
Engineers determined that the Marti Gras Menorah would meet load requirements on Ms. Liberty's arm since it is constructed from very light weight materials and is roughly the same weight as the original torch. Supervisors plan to reinforce the material in order to avoid problems in high wind, but they said they were not willing to hold up the project for minor problems with the New York City building code. Many city inspectors were also present at the project, and they gave the okay, saying any code issues could wait. The Menorah may be taken down as quickly as it went up and the torch put back if Memphis decides to turn back from the brink of the Statue War.
"This was an amazing effort" said a city official. "New Yorkers are not going to stand by while the symbol of America is under attack. After 9/11 people are fed up and they're not going to take it any more. You don't tug on Superman's cape. You hear what I'm saying?" He gave a Bronx chear in the direction of Tennessee as he started for home. At 7 pm this evening, only a few construction workers have yet to return home, choosing to keep working until the site is returned to the state it was in before the construction blitz began.
Video News Report from Memphis WMCTV. Memphis citizens don't like it either.