I was home in early August and took an opportunity to try to talk my Dad into voting Democratic in November. The short story is that I succeeded.
I have to say that my other attempts to "discuss" recent politics with him have not gone well- at all. Christmas 2004 was a yelling match. I went off the deep end again in June when we talked. Both arguments end in a hug, though. There is a deep respect between us.
A description of Dad (is he like someone you know?) and how I won him over, and my attempts to tip my brother-in-law on the flip:
Dad is a great man. His political perspective can only be described as an odd hybrid of principles, a bit bi-polar, if you will. I am sure he gets his many contradictions from his Dad (my Granddad- who died recently after a very good, long life), a person we both held in the highest regard. Granddad lived his life more like Jesus Christ than anyone I have ever met- but clearly did not like church or religion.
My Dad is generally very conservative and essentially an evangelical, though he does not wear his faith on his sleeve, nor does he evangelize (deeds not words). However, he strongly believes the gas tax should increase by $1+, ANWAR should not be touched and we should all have solar panels on our house. He recently bought a Honda Civic (considered the hybrid, but did not do it- not financially pragmatic enough for my step-mom). He is a professional, and owns his own business- has been telling me our medical care/insurance system is broken for nearly 15 years now. He is a very (very) strong supporter of Israel, essentially to the point of neocon. Odd mix.
How did I convince him?
First, I remained calm. Yelling is not going to convert anyone- it only convinces them they are more right, and that I am a nut. No one can debate convincingly with a blistering red face and spittle going everywhere. A recent recommended diary said "be polite".
However, the fact that we can yell at each other, but still have a deep respect for each other is important. Debate is good. Vigorous debate is better. Debate over a beer is best. As a country, we have lost the ability to respectfully disagree. As a country, we have lost the ability to discuss politics passionately over a drink (lest someone gets assaulted).
What influences Dad most are well informed facts. When we talked about global warming he spit out the "I am not convinced it is caused by humans" talking point and I just went through the facts (I was reading The End of Oil at the time).
He was also impressed by my passion. Talking points do not originate from passion. Passion is powerful. Anger is destructive.
If I was not informed on a subject, I simply said "I do not know enough to discuss that." No one can know everything.
He clearly gets his talking points from Fox. We all know these, so following them up with deeper questions, something beyond black v. white forced him to think.
Why is he, a very intelligent, generally reasonable person sucked in by the rhetoric? He is busy with work and family. Like most American's life gets in the way: my Grandfather was sick for the past 7 years before he died; he has two teen age daughters at home (22 years younger than me); he works 60-70 hours a week at his practice. And he gets 99% of his news from the traditional media, way too much from Fox. And he got sucked in hook, line, sinker by how 9/11 was politicized. To see such a great person pulled in by all of this, I fully understand how so many American's got fooled.
The two points that really convinced him to vote Democratic in November: 1) We need oversight. Period. We need to know what our government is doing. With the Republicans in control of Congress, we will not know until it is too late.
2) The best way to fight terror is to make the Middle East irrelevant. The best way to make them irrelevant is to reduce, then eliminate our need for oil. Terror is related to Oil is related to Global Warming. We have to seriously invest in the research necessary to get us off of oil specifically, but hydrocarbons in general. Republicans are flat wrong on this, and our safety and security are in jeopardy because of it.
When we were done, we came back into the house and he announced that I had convinced him to vote democratic. A small, important victory.
I am also trying to win over my brother-in-law (BIL). Not a hybrid like Dad, but a fiscally conservative republican (he is a CPA). He loves Goldwater- BIL is from Arizona and is a Sigma Chi. Goldwater was an Arizona Univ. Sigma Chi (both my Dad and I are Sig's too, btw). This is a bond I exploit.
I have pointed BIL to John Dean's new book on the authoritarian bent of the current administration, and how Goldwater would be disturbed by the neocon interpretation of conservative and their hijacking of the Republican party.
Related to authoritarian rhetoric, Froomkin's WAPO piece hits the nail on the head. I hope the tide is turning. I hope people are realizing the Emperor/vice-emperor have no clothes (an awful image of Cheney). And I will end with an email I sent to Dad and BIL today pointing them to the Froomkin piece, and inspired by DarkSyde's piece yesterday:
Froomkin WAPO Aug 14, 2006
Dad: Here is a good/long piece in the Washington Post summarizing (and linking to) many viewpoints on how we are fighting this war on terror. I think it is being fought poorly- and a big red flag is the simple black/white choices thrown out by Bush et al.
"Cut and run" and "with us or against us" avoid the much more relevant and difficult discussions on "what is the best way to thwart terrorists", "how do we make them irrelevant", "are we doing this in the most efficient/effective way", "do the terrorists win if we have to chip away at the Constitution".
This will be a long battle, but so was the cold-war. We won that with the Constitution intact. We won WWII, WWI, and the Civil War with the Constitution intact. The Revolutionary War gave birth to the Constitution. Terrorism is a grave threat, but no greater than any of these previous wars.
I, personally, think the best way to win this is to make the Middle East irrelevant to geopolitics. If we remove oil from the equation, the Middle East becomes like Africa- a mess of a continent, but no threat to us.
We have to do this correctly and well or we will loose the war and in the process forget the foundation of this country. The decisions our leaders make today will determine the kind of country my kids/nieces/nephews (your grandchildren) will live in. I really think we have already lost a lot in the last 5 years.
BIL and Dad- this is the last email I will send to the two of you on this. Any more would be just annoying. You can see I have become a bit obsessed over this, but I think we are at a critical point for our country and the kids will be the ones to pay the price if we continue to do this wrong. Price = literal (the huge debt) and figurative (compromised freedoms).