Henchmen 24: Come on, they have one female servicing a large group of males! That implies a species that lays eggs!
Henchmen 21: Oh my god, you're crazy! They're so obviously mammals!
Henchmen 24: Please, she'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs.
Henchmen 21: Smurfs don't lay eggs! I'll tell you this again, Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They're mammals!
I don't know why, but last night I started thinking about the "busted logic"
of all the television shows I watched as a kid. If you ever go back and watch some of that stuff, you wonder how in the hell you ever bought into it in the first place. For all we know, "The Flinstones
" is directly responsible for Intelligent Design
So I thought I would go through some of the things I learned as a child, along with something I just heard about. Imagine my suprise, to hear that the Smurfs were Commies...
The "Red" Father?
Here's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. Last night someone directed me to the Wikipedia page called The Smurfs and Communism. It's a long detailed analysis of Smurf society & Marxist theory starting with the fact that Papa Smurf has a resemblance to Marx (with the beard) & as the leader of the Smurfs wears red (the symbolic color of Communism). All of the Smurfs dress alike in a sort of "Mao Suit" kind of way. Also...
The Smurfs live in an egalitarian utopia. Each smurf has a particular skill and each performs tasks for the benefit of the community. There is no system of monetary exchange or even barter in the Smurf village. The village can be seen as a planned economy, under the leadership of Papa Smurf, and to some extent, Brainy Smurf....The food in the Smurf Village was stored away in mushrooms the minute it was harvested and then equally distributed to all the Smurfs throughout the year. No one "farmer smurf" sold his crop to one smurf or another. It was understood that the crop was for the entire Smurf population, not for the sale or profit of one Smurf alone - an example of collective farming.
That asshole Gargamel
& his cat are represenatives of Capatalism. Throughout the series, he wanted to kill the Smurfs in order to turn them into gold
Cops Don't Solve Crimes. Four Teenagers & Their Talking Dog Solves Crimes.
I dare anyone to go back and watch those old "Scooby-Doo" cartoons and make sense of any them. A town full of educated adults can't figure out that's a guy in a costume. No, four teenagers & their dog, in their "hippy" van, have to come into town to investigate in order for someone to just grab the son of a bitch in the pirate-ghost costume & pull off the mask.
These towns have police forces, but a stoner named Shaggy & his mumbling dog Scooby are the only ones that can crack the case...
Army Vets Can Make Weapons Out Of Anything
Ten years ago, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.
First of all, where in the Hell is this "Los Angeles Underground"
? I want to know. Second, thank God al-Qaeda has no one that can turn duct tape & household appliances into weapons. On the other hand, I'm starting to think the hairgel-peroxide airliner plot might have been inspired by one of those guys watching an episode.
These guys are on the run from the government but they ride around in B.A.'s custom conversion van that might draw a little attention. And where in the hell do they get money from? There supposed to be "soldiers of fortune", but every time we see them they're working for free. The A-Team was always kicking the shit out of a big business asshole that was trying to run some rancher off his property...