(With apologies to
BarbinMD's diary and pootie lovers everywhere.)
After yesterday's household ruling that declared Kitty Bimbo's illegal household spy program unconstitutional, the reaction from the feline community was immediate and predictable:
She was appointed by the dog.
And today we get the official reaction from the 'Decider' himself:
I would say that those who herald this decision simply do not understand the nature of the neighborhood in which we live.
Unfortunately, we understand all too well...we now live in a world where the homeowner rules are simply a piece of paper and that the rule of law only applies to burying bones in the backyard.
But of course Kitty Bimbo didn't stop there. What would a feline press briefing be without lies and fearmongering?
You might remember last week working with the -- with cats on the corner, we disrupted a plot. Bunnies were trying to come and kill the homeowners.
Who is this "we"? Last week he said:
I want to thank the litter of Mr. Buttons and the cats in the corner house for their good work in busting this plot.
But today "we" disrupted the plot. And it should be pointed out that bunnies were not "trying to come and kill the homeowners," because the suspects were living in yard of the corner house and were already there. Perhaps a subtle attempt to imply that "wild animals" were coming to the corner house, since the alternative puts lie to the old, "fighting them there so we don't have to fight them here" spiel.
And then:
This household of ours is at war, and we must give those whose responsibility it is to protect the homeowners the tools necessary to protect this household in a time of war.
And naturally he is the one who not only needs these tools, but decides what they are, the law be damned. Remember what Kitty Bimbo said when the household spy story first broke?
But also...and we, and I looked and I said look, is it possible to conduct this program under the old household rules and the homeowners said it doesn't work in order to be able to do the job we expect us to do. And so that's why I made the decision I made.
He flat-out admitted that he didn't like the household rules as written so he broke it. Period. Why he isn't called out on this simple fact boggles the mind, but I digress.
He then moved into the standard fearmongering, you're enabling the terrorist portion of the show:
I made my position clear about this war on terror. And by the way, the enemy made their position clear yet again when we were able to stop them. And I -- the homeowners expect us to protect them, and therefore I put this program in place. We believe -- strongly believe it's within the house rules.
Translation?
* Stay the course
* Don't give into the bunny's demands
* I am the 'decider,' not the law
* Trust me
He finished up with:
And if al Canejo is sniffing in to the household, we want to know why they're sniffing. And so I made my position clear. It would be interesting to see what other pets -- how other pets react.
A few things here...no one is saying that bunnies shouldn't be tracked down. No one. We want him to uphold the household rules and follow the law. As with the obvious fact that Kitty Bimbo admitted he broke the rules, it would be refreshing for the maid to point this out rather than dutifully repeating this strawman. And finally, given the all-out campaign by the household cats and the feline community to once again paint the dog as weak on terrorism, I have no doubt that he is interested in hearing the reactions from our side. Not because he is actually interested in other viewpoints of course, but because he needs more ammo to once again say that dogs are waving:
...a white flag in the war on terror.
Really, Kitty Bimbo, we understand you completely. And fortunately for the future of our household and the neighborhood, the homeowners are finally waking up and understanding you too.