Here's what I like to do. It sounds strange, but I think I can accomplish it. I want to help Bill O'Reilly in his time of need. You see, Bill, has a problem on his hands. In fact, a problem that could be best solved if we as good people guide him by the hand and make him see the error of his ways.
You see, Bill, is void of reality. But, I can't blame him, for you see, void of reality has a Conservative bias.
A couple of nights ago he and his faithful servant, Geraldo Rivera were discussing Mel Gibson and his little troubles. Well, I shouldn't say, little, considering the fact that Mel, um, got drunk, was pulled over, resisted arrest and proceeded to blame the Jews for the evils of the world.
Okay, so they're big troubles. My fault.
But, my issue isn't with Mel (I'll get to him later) it's with Bill.
You see, in that enlarged ego which is about the size of a tumor on a testicle, I believe there's a good side to Bill. Really, I do. But, enough of that sugary nonsense, here's the problem that Bill has.
In his little world where Progressive elites are ruining America, he believes that it's more important to discuss the media and Americans' enjoyment of the suffering of rich and powerful people.
Yes, Bill I enjoy it and you know why?
It's a little thing I like to call, hypocrisy. You're familiar with the term, ask Andrea Mackris.
Bill, if there's one thing Americans can't stand, even though we could qualify as the dumbest people on this planet and yes it has something to do with electing a faux Texan as President and listening to you, we can't and will not stand for hypocrisy.
Mel Gibson's arrest and his spewing of Anti-Semitic remarks just goes to show that Gibson is qualified to be elected into the hypocrisy Hall of fame.
It's not that we enjoy the suffering of a rich and powerful American who has ties to you. It's the fact that we love it!
It proves that Mel Gibson is not divine, but a human being, capable of acting like a complete turd on a Malibu highway.
I have this theory, Bill, and I want to share it with the American people, the same ones you've helped erased whatever intelligence they had left.
When a self-righteous, God-fearing individual gets caught in the act of being human, the media and Americans are going to tear that individual a new asshole. Why? Because we don't like self-righteous, God-fearing turds who make a living telling us we're immoral sycophants.
WE HATE IT.
And we throw our hands at the poetic justice that comes screaming like a freight train.
Those self-righteous, God-fearing, moral pugilists are the true elites, not Progressives who stick up for the average Joe. Mel Gibson types want to stick their values down everyone's throats and make them cough up the word of God.
Now, the only thing Mel is coughing up is apologies.
Good for him.
Bill, you say you're looking out for the everyday American. Well, I like to say you're a liar.
Because you seem to care more about the problems of rich and powerful people such as your business partner Mel Gibson and yourself.
In your world,victims of Hurricane Katrina are nothing more than a bunch of low-life drug addicts.
And, Mel Gibson is a victim.
To quote another Conservative void of Reality, Michelle Malkin, if Mel is a victim, well, boo freaking hoo.
And, as I sit here trying to help you, here's a suggestion.
I know Geraldo is your faithful servant, but it doesn't bode well for your image if you have someone who was giving out sensitive military information on TV as a faithful servant.
I know Geraldo can be a good sidekick, but, he lied to us about Al Capone's vault. I was a 6 year old kid, hoping to see jewels, money, and a dead body or two, but instead, I got a beer bottle and dirt, Which can be the defintion of Geraldo's career.
Hey if you need a sidekick how about asking John Gibson to pose as one. You guys need each other after the progressives kicked your asses in the War on Christmas. Which by the way we're looking forward to fight this year, even though it's kinda faux if you ask me.
I know Bill you flag through this site hoping to catch the Vampires and smear merchants. But, if you read this, please know that I'm trying to help you in your time of need.