Algoregasm--the elation the country would have experienced for the last 6 years had the votes actually been counted
Arlenspectorgasm--posturing instead of really penetrating, and then going away limply
Arnoldschwarzeneggergasm--the mass hypnotism that follows an action figure announcing he is running for the highest office in the state, despite past lewd behavior and no qualifications
Boargasm--the enthusiasm Chimpy has at any mention of pig parts for dinner
Christianeamanpourgasm--the hopeful feeling you get when you see an actual reporter on a cable news channel (as opposed to a Wolfblitzergasm, which results in premature misinformation)
Corpsgasm--what Rethugs fake everytime they say they support the troops
Cyborgasm--the only excitement Cheney gets (other than shooting people in the face) as his doctors playfully mess around with the settings on his pacemaker
Faltergasm--the thrill of watching a Rethug self-destruct by saying something really stupid, such as macaca or just about anything that comes out of Ted Stevens's or Conrad Burns's mouth
Floorgasm--the awe that envelopes you when a Representative takes to the podium in Congress and says something important and powerful
Foregasm--the sense of outrage you feel when Chimpy is asked about terrorism, and he replies, "Now watch this drive!" while hitting a golf ball
Ignoregasm--the joy you feel when you see Kirsten Powers speaking over Ann Coulter, disregarding anything she is saying, and making Coulter's head explode
Johnmarkkarrgasm--the tingle Karl Rove gets when every news outlet is distracted by a nonsensical story that will take the focus off the crimes of the current administration
Meteorgasm--the feeling of being a little smarter after reading a diary or comment by a particularly smart Kossack (also known as Psifightergasm, Devilstowergasm, Missdevoregasm, Mrspastorgasm, etc.)
Michaelmooregasm--what results from seeing a documentary, knowing it will make Sean Hannity's head explode
Moregasm--the rush and feeling of entitlement that the ultra-rich get with every tax cut
Nevermoregasm--strictly for Edgar Allen Poe fans
Oratorgasm--the pride and hope you feel when you hear a really righteous rant
Poorgasm--the despair you feel when you get sick and you have no medical insurance (Note--check to see if you are suffering from Albacoregasm, which results from eating tainted tunafish, which might be located next to the powdered milk under your bed)
Preemptivewargasm--the result of neo-cons masturbating themselves and each other
Ricksantorgasm--satisfaction derived only by thinking of really unnatural sex acts between humans and other species
Ruthbaderginsbergasm--the desperate feeling you get while hoping and praying that someone stays well for many more years
Scootergasm--the serenity of knowing that your court case will be delayed until midterm elections are over and/or long enough for you to get a presidential pardon (and perhaps a Medal of Freedom)
Shoregasm--the spewing of outrage over the ports deal
Skeletorgasm--what you have when you chert off the sinking feeling you get while thinking that your future might depend on the Department of Homeland Security under the stewardship of Michael Chertoff
Smoregasm--don't know about you, but graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows? yum!!!
Snoregasm--the delightful pootienap catnap you get during those 10 minute pauses between words when Chimpy is speaking without a script
Soargasm--the relief you feel when you finally make it through 8 hours of security and are allowed to get on the airplane
Sorelosergasm--the only pleasure Hadassah Lieberman can hope for
Unclothedemperorgasm--what recovering Rethugs undergo when they realize they have been hoodwinked and switch party affiliation
Whattheyworegasm--watching awards shows only to see the clothes
Whoregasm--1. the feeling you get when you pimp your diary and people actually go and read it or 2. rethugs taking money from Chimpy and the Rethug party while swearing they are Independents in their campaign ads
Okay, kids, relax and light a cigarette. It's time for you to add your own!! Don't be shy or demuregasm!