On August 30th, I watched my wonderful wife give birth to a beautiful little boy via cesarean section. Watching the whole procedure was mind blowing, and seeing his little head and hearing his first cries brought tears to my eyes. Seeing the fortitude and strength of my wife over the next 3 days in the hospital was awe inspiring, her dedication to taking care of him once we got home caused me to begin to write a diary expressing my gratitude for mothers everywhere - the pain, the joy, the perserverence and the dedication is takes to bring a new life into the world and to shepherd that little one through growing up.
I haven't had a change to write that diary. Last Friday, our son Milo became unresponsive. We couldn't wake him at all, and so we rushed to the emergency room. His muscle tone and reflexes were good, and his vital signs were all normal, but he could not be awakened. After the resident stuck a tongue depressor all the way down his throat and couldn't get a gag reflex, an IV was immediately started. he was catheterized, and lots of blood was taken. I felt completely paralyzed watching a team of people inserting needles and hooking complicated monitors up to my precious 9 day old little boy. I have never felt more helpless or despondent in my whole life. After the pain of all the needles and catheters, he was awake, and his cries brought on my own. We were rushed to the medical unit, where we were kept for observation. He refused to eat, and began losing weight, but by Sunday, he was eating, and we were hopeful. Then, on Sunday night he lapsed into unconciousness again for about 4 hours. After that, we've had whole teams in and out, more tests than I can count, and way too many tubes and monitors hooked up to a 10 day old infant than should ever be.
My wife and I are sleeping on an armchair in the hospital room, so we can be there as quickly as possible if something should happen, but so far, all his tests appear normal - he just fades into unconciousness every once in a while.
With all that, I'd like to expand my original diary. I'd like to express my profound admiration for all parents. The heartache, nurturing, and devotion required to be a parent is incredible, and I look up to you all. I'd also like to thank all the people that work incredible hours for very little pay, in order to help litle babies like mine. Thank you to the unit nurses, the triage nurses, the residents that go above and beyond the call, the overworked attendings, and specialists, the people that keep the cafeteria open until 2 AM, the underpaid and underappreciated people that keep the floors and bathrooms clean, and every single one of them has always greeted me with respect, understanding, and reassurance. I could never thank any of you enough.
On a final note, I'd like to say that I'm extremely lucky. I can do all of this without even wondering whether insurance can pay for it (although I'm hopeful it will). The same cannot be said for most Americans, and that's a tragedy. There are little children in this country that are in profound need of medical help, and for the most part, they're not getting it. They're getting written off as non-deserving. They're not. They're little kids, and they need every possible bit of help we can give them.
It's time to come up with an alternative way to deliver health care in this country. I don't care how we do it, but the people speaking platitudes about no child left behind need to walk the halls of Primary Childrens Medical Center in Salt Lake City Utah, look the 10 year old chemo patient in the eye, and explain why their whole family is going to face financial ruin in order to save their life. Sit in a room with the little hispanic boy in the room next to mine whos immune system is killing him, just for a couple minutes, and listen to his cries. Really feel his pain, dammit.
We need to help these kids. We can do it - we have the resources, but we apparently think it's more important to enact corporate tax breaks than to save the lives of children. Until that changes, I'll cringe every time someone refers to America as a compassionate or civilized society.
Thanks for listening.