Reprinted from The Satirical Political Report http://satiricalpolitical.com
Democratic leaders have announced that they intend to hold merely symbolic votes in the House and Senate on President Bush’s plan to send more troops to Baghdad — thus effectively turning their "co-equal branch of government" into the equivalent of ... a high school Model Congress.
Democratic activists are understandably upset at this refusal to mount a meaningful challenge to Bush’s escalation of the war, and instead have demanded a cutoff or limitation of funds. However, Majority Leader Harry Reid urged restraint.
"Don’t underestimate the power and gravitas of Model Congresses," Reid stated. "They’re typically comprised of the best and brightest high school students, who attend these things at actual Ivy League colleges, like Harvard and Yale."
"Besides," Reid added, "we’re just as smart as those kids — we just have less acne, and more raging hormones."
Democrats also plan to take other symbolic gestures to highlight their strong opposition to escalation, including listening to Jimi Hendrix on their iPods, wearing tie-dyed T-shirts with peace symbols, and burning their DC metro fare cards.
Speaker Nancy Pelosi also weighed in, expressing hope "that perhaps one day a woman can break through the Model Congress ceiling and become the Speaker of a real Congress."
However, an actual member of a high school Model Congress took great offense at the comparison, stating "we accomplished our agenda in a lot less than 100 hours, including impeaching the President and Vice President. And we didn’t even recess for a stupid football game."