Dear dubya,
You are a confoundedly ill-mannered ruffian and a preposterous, grudge-festering piece of excrement attached to a dog's posterior. When you are at a loss for words, your loss is our gain. Your troglodyte like lack of any intelligent civilized thought is living proof that evolution is NOT an efficient process. You are a cruelly fiendish sloven and a decrepit, foul-smelling lamentable mistake by your parents.
I have pulled double-header sweat filled tube socks from my feet that were more charismatic then you with your evil-bad-guy monkey snicker of an excuse for a laugh. A bucket of medical testing animal phlegm has more class then you.
If stupid was a medical disability we would be forced to abandon hopes of impeachment and send you off to a feeb farm with a full pension. Engaging in a battle of wits for you is like getting into a duel with a water gun full of piss.
After listening to your speeches, it is obvious that a) whomever wrote them for you has a strict policy of never letting thought interrupt the flow of typing and b) you lack the intellect to realize what has happened. You have apparently taken the million monkeys on a million typewriters eventually making Shakespeare thing to heart in employing 3 monkeys banging on a touch screen with less then 20 words/slogans.
You are a woefully uncivilized conglomerate of intellectual constipation. Your inability to comprehend any number that can't be counted on your fingers has distorted your dictatorish view of the lives that have been ended by your command. Did you suffer from a lack of oxygen when your mother used to push you face into the dough to make monkey cookies? Stop worrying that the warranty will expire if you actually use your brain.
It's no wonder you despise nature after what it's done to you, you Alfred E Newman looking botched lobotomy patient. We are running low on fresh air on this planet...do the planet a favor and hold your breath until global warming is fixed.
Sincerely,
scratchinmybutt
P.S. your mom's so ugly, she did a back bend naked and everybody just thought she got a perm