untitled diary
You just might be a Republican if you believe------
- Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of
homosexuals and Hillary Clinton
- Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad
guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when
Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush
needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
- Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is
Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital
to a spirit of international harmony.
- The United States should get out of the United
Nations, and our highest national priority is
enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iran .
- A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her
own body, but multinational drug corporations can make
decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
- The best way to improve military morale is to
praise the troops in speeches, while slashing
veterans' benefits and combat pay.
- If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents
won't have sex.
- A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and
money.
- Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound
policy, but providing health care to all Americans is
socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best
interests of the public at heart.
- Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are
junk science, but creationism should be taught in
schools.
- A president lying about an extramarital affair is
an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist
support for a war in which thousands die is solid
defense policy.
- Government should limit itself to the powers named
in the Constitution, which include banning gay
marriages and censoring the ! Internet .
- The public has a right to know about Hillary's
cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is
none of our business.
- Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a
crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then
it's an illness and you need our prayers for your
recovery.
- Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every
Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be
born (in perpetuity.)
- What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital
national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is
irrelevant.
- Support for hunters who shoot their friends and
blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those
worn by the quail.
.