This is so NOT woooonderful I don't know where to begin!
![title=](http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u210/quicksite/wooonderful2.gif)
First of all, I had this vague feeling yesterday that something was missing, but I could not put my finger on it. So much breaking news: the fires, Nancy forcing Pete to apologize and wash mouth out with soap, TPM/Josh Marshall interviews markos on split-screen, and wears some alien headset... It just didn't occur to me that something way more significant was going on.
Until today. I scoured the site for any trace whatsoever of that butt-ugly blue and muted red combo cake frosting on top of a piece of toast -- and it was nowhere to be found! What in the world is going on around here?! There are times when I want to punch Markos in the face for his arrogance, and this is one such time. For well over a year he has treated his sycophantic fanbase here to the daily visual musings of one Freedom Toast, a treat so rare, it is not found on any other website in the ad syndicate, to my knowledge (though I didn't check).
Not to mention it has been resoundingly endorsed by Bill Clinton as "Funnnnny!", and of course, who can neglect the prestige that comes from a "It's wooooonderful!" from Helen Thomas. This is the coveted equivalent of TWO THUMBS UP in the film world for those rare films that pierce the ordinary banal lives we lead and show us fleeting flickers of greatness. Let me ask you right here and now: Where else have you ever seen the rare honor afforded a mere blog ad with that marvelous distinction
"It's Wooooonderful!" - Helen Thomas
Answer: You have NEVER seen it elsewhere and we can thank Helen for reserving her highest honor for those truly worthy of recognition.
And that brings me back to why I want to punch Markos smack in the face. He, sitting in his wi-fi'd home-base, can blog from any room in his house. At any hour of the night. Even when, for example, he's woken from bed with sharp stomach cramps from the bad Mexican crap he at at Chevy's in Everyville, and has to hit the alternate office. There he sits on his throne, like a drunken god deciding what we see and don't see on his precious blog.
And what audacity (not as audacious as Obama's hope, but what IS?) to have debuted Freedom Toast at his orange adobe hut on the web a year ago -- get us all addicted to it. Then just when you're distracted for half a second, that a*hole has to expunge it from the site!
I am enraged. I have a mind to get in the car right now, speed across the oakland Bay bridge, go wake up Lakoff's ass and get him to join me with pitchforks outside that little s**t's house demanding he restore Freedom Toast to its former place of glory.
Now I want someone to tell me why I shouldn't go do just that? And for god's sake don't go waking up Elise because everyone knows how prissy she gets about Freedom Toast, which in itself is inexplicable since she has a gluten allergy and must avoid wheat products.
Is nothing making sense tonight! Bring me my Freedom Toast or face consequences.