My fellow Americans, one thing our great administration has not asked us to do is pony up for the surge and other great aspects of the War on Terror, Iraqi Lodge. This is surely an oversight and something we can correct right here.
Whining liberals have complained that the bone-crushing cost of this exercise in spreading democracy and bringing liberty (if not life) to untold millions of grateful Shias, Kurds, Sunnis and what have you will be visited on our grandchildren. Well, the little nippers should be damn glad that they have the chance to pony up for whatever civil liberties will be left when they have their turn at the wheel.
But since I have so many dollars left over after my health insurance was cancelled at work and I stopped going to the doctor, not to mention not having to worry about house payments since the hacienda was repo-ed and I took up residence under the bridge, I thought that I and all of you should be willing to pay to play our little game called saving America by frying Iraq. See below.
Thus, I think we should all write our Congressmen/women and get them to enact a supplemental war tax on all Americans to pay for this great war and give us all ownership of the product. Sorry flat taxers on the right and whining liberals on the left, the tax is gonna be graduated, and everybody gets to pay.
Rates. These are suggestions only--I am no economist--the idea is for everyone to do their part. And those who have profited the most, get to give the party.
Less than $15000 annual income (AI)-- 3%
$15,000-30,000 AI-- 5%
$30,001-45,000 AI 6%
and so on,until we get into the big bucks, where a top rate of 50% of truly gross income sets in.
Special categories--those fat cats who are making more than 30x the wages of their average employee will pay two-thirds of the difference to the War Tax.
Finally, war profiteers, that is anyone who has profited directly by supplying defective goods or inferior services to the poor suckers in uniform will pay 90% of all profits to the War Tax.
Am I raving? Perhaps. But why haven't we been asked to pay for this debacle?
Surely you have an idea--let me know what I don't understand about this wonderful patriotic effort