BLIND JUSTICE... Cheney spent the weekend in New York stalking ducks with fellow nimrods at the Hudson River Valley Hunt Club. Which, rumor has it, releases birds who are trained to welcome the hunters as "liberators."
NOW BOARDING... The Senate Judiciary Committee is threatening to block Michael Mukasey’s confirmation as attorney general unless he agrees to define water boarding as torture---which, he confided to an aide, he considers less terrorizing than being strapped naked to Ann Coulter.
MEET THE PRESS... FEMA has spent days trying to undo damage done to their already tarnished reputation after officials staged a fake news conference using employees as "reporters." Could have been worse. One of them wanted to borrow Bush’s "Mission Accomplished" sign.
There's lots more beneath the fold!
TERMINAL... Bush says the people of Cuba are witnessing "the dying gasps of a failed regime." You know, like those "final throes" Cheney said al Qaeda was in.
VANISHED... The Terror Watch List now has 755,000 names on it. Bin Laden’s name is there but nobody can find it.
BUB-BYE... The Department of Transportation may levy fines on air carriers who arrive 15 minutes late more that 70% of the time. In other words, Delta’s regular on-time schedule.
RAMBO PAMBY... Last week, Rice issued new ground rules governing those trigger happy Blackwater mercenaries who’ve been ordered to show more "cultural sensitivity."
Which in laymen’s terms means that from now on they have to allow the Iraqi civilians to face Mecca while being shot.
FEATHERS... Bush recently dropped in at Maryland’s Patuxent Research Refuge to promote "stopover habitats" for 800 bird species and declared that the owl perched on his gloved finger was "... a cute little fellow." Then Cheney shot it.
BOOK ‘EM, DANO... Bush says he’ll oppose a bill being considered in the House that would grant federal recognition of native Hawaiians. He did offer to compromise, though. He’d be willing to grant a posthumous Medal of Freedom to Don Ho.
MOBY DICK... GOP presidential candidate Sam Brownback yanked his hat out of the ring after a poll found that 83% of the Republicans questioned identified him as a species of whale.
HOLY MOLY... Attempting to regain voters turned off by his stand on abortion, Giuliani told the Conservative Family Research Council that "I am an imperfect man who asks for guidance through prayer." Think that could be Jesus who calls him on the cell phone during speeches?
COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM... Congress is considering a bill that would allow judges to release terminally ill convicts to die at home. With the exception, of course, of those who are scheduled to be "terminally executed."
Excerpted from www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com
Featuring "Quotations of Chairman Bush"