Does it seem to you like the CNN/Republican You Tube debate over-hyping is a bit over the top. And by over the top? I mean, it's become just like the Superbowl, only with less interesting commercials and no possibility of even one millisecond nipple flashing?
Okay, the absence of republican nipple flashing is something to praise, not decry, but still.
First we had the pregame show last night, in which CNN reporters talked about how important they think that 'real people' will be tonight, and how it's going to be blood sport right from the first question. I'm not sure which I find more offensive--the fact that they think that bloodsport means that some political good will surely follow, or the de facto insult that "real people" are somehow this magical breed that they have just dicovered. In a diner. Somewhere in whitebread middle Amerka.
Today, we will hear hype constantly, no doubt. Every major blog site I have clicked on today has had a macromedia flash drive ad to hype the event.
I imagine The Beard will be doing an all CNN/Republican You Tube Debate Show, all the time, in the Situation Room.
Lou Dobbs will probably not take a break from his half-drunken hysterical immigrant bashing to talk about it. But if he does, he will likely want to ask if any of the candidates think we should tar and feather all brown people before, or after we throw their filthydirtypublicserviceburdening asses in jail.
Then more of The Beard offering us a chance to hear every candidate's spin doctor's pre-game spin, and who can get enough of that?
And then Teh Big Shew itself, which is billed to resemble something along the lines of "The Worst of Crossfire Meets The Worst of American Gladiator".
No doubt, every candidate will talk about how they will kill as many A-rabs as possible in order to keep America safe, while failing to notice that the A-rabs just bought a rather large stake in the American economy by taking a huge position in Citibank yesterday. Whatever.
We can also be assured that the candidates will pander to the pro Blastocyst-Americans lobby, while firmly positioning themselves as being against the services and education for children who are already alive and probably not doing so well. I can't explain why they do this. Maybe they see increasing the population of future poor people as a de facto recruitment tool for the increasingly difficult to find bodies they will need to sacrifice in their Glorious War on Everything. Call it the pro-life, pro pre-dead lobby.
Ron Paul will be hailed as "the Howard Dean" of the Republican Party. And no one will recall what the media did to Howard Dean.
Mike Huckabee will appear sane. And no one will ask him questions about his website statements on eliminating ALL taxes.
All of the candidates will be struck with mass amnesia over the person and presidency of one George W. Bush.
And sadly, no one will ask my favorite question: If you could go back in time and abort Osama bin Laden, would you?
Also sadly, no one will ask my favorite question because it will be deemed "too political". "Too political" to be asked at a political debate. Got it. I would need to ask about something more substantive. Probably something to do with haircuts/cleavage/earthtones/cackling would suffice.
After the show, we will have Larry King on with the village punditocracy who will tell us what to think about what they think we heard, or should have heard, or something like that. Regardless of what the candidates actually say, the narrative will still be, "Republican Strong on National Security, Democrats Still Pussies Who Need To Worry About Being Pussies".
I've noticed that Democratic Pundit concern trolling about the Democrats is alot like listening to someone's ex-girlfriend tell the new girlfriend what to watch out for from the old boyfriend, cause, you know, she's just trying to be super helpful. Sadly, the new girlfriend will believe it.
There will be no pundit concern trolling from the Republican pundits, who they will likely not have on, because on television, people will be able to see the specks of spittle flying from their foaming rabid mouths.
Then, Anderson Cooper will have two full hours of the same crap as Larry King, only with less gossip, and a more intellectual patina to the pre-determined narrative. They won't actually call the democrats "pussies", but will likely make some euphemistically equivalent portrayal of the democrat's positions which will also ignore facts and history. Larry King has the pundits. Anderson Cooper will have the poseurs.
And then there's tomorrow's all day coverage of narrative regurgitation to look forward to.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Does anyone else find it disturbing that we are electing a President much in the same way that we used to choose Miss America, complete with the swimsuit cleavage debate?
And how long will it be before Britney Spears sings the national anthem before the debates, and we have a full on half-time show?
Sadly, I fear, not long. And Modern American Journamilism will continue to narrate a wished-for reality, embrace all that is factesque, publicly copulate truthiness and The Nutshell of All That Is Rancid And Corrupt In Modern American Journamalism will only grow in order to contain the ever growing number of nuts.
Just. Kill. Me.
(Cross-posted at The Democracy Cell Project)