Adapted for primary use from "The Three Billy Goats Gruff" by Paul Galdone(1914 - 1986)
This is dedicated to all determined campaign trolls (here, in the media and even those in public service) who have been relentless with their whisper campaigns and personal attacks.
Once upon a time
there was a remarkable man called Barack Obama.
In the winter he lived in a house in Chicago
When spring came he longed to travel
to Washington to change fear into hope and change.
On his way to the White House,
Barack Obama had to cross a rushing river.
But there was only one bridge across it,
made of wooden planks.
And underneath the bridge
there lived a terrible, ugly, one-eyed troll.
No other candidate was allowed to cross the bridge
without the troll's permission
and nobody ever got permission.
The troll always ate them up.
The smallest, Kucinich, was first to reach the bridge. Trippity-trop, trippity-trop
went his little hooves as he trotted
over the wooden planks.
Ting-tang, ting-tang went his call for impeachment.
"Who’s that trotting over my bridge?"
Growled the troll from under the bridge.
"Dennis Kucinich," squeaked the smallest candidate
in his little voice.
"I'm only going up to Washington
with my tall, beautiful wife, Elizabeth."
"Oh no, you're not!" said the troll.
"I'm going to eat you for breakfast!"
"Oh no, please Troll, "pleaded Dennis.
"I'm only the smallest candidate.
I'm much too tiny for you to eat,
and I wouldn't taste very good.
Why don't you wait for fellow candidate,
John Edwards?
He's much bigger than me
and would be much more tasty."
The troll did not want to waste his time on little Kucinich if there was a bigger and better one to eat.
"All right, you can cross my bridge," he/she grunted.
"Go and get fatter on the campaign trail
and I'll eat you on your way back!"
So Dennis Kucinich
skipped across to the other side.
The troll did not have to wait long
for the next candidate.
Clip-clop, clip-clop went his hooves
as he clattered over the wooden planks.
Ding-dong, ding-dong went his call for no lobbyists.
"Who's that clattering across my bridge?"
screamed the troll,
suddenly appearing from under the planks.
"John Edwards," said the candidate in his middle-sized southern drawl.
"I'm going up to Washington
to form One America."
"Oh no you're not!" said the troll.
"I'm going to eat you for breakfast."
"I may be bigger than Dennis Kucinich,
but I'm much smaller than the next candidate, Barack Obama.
Why don't you wait for him?
He would be much more of a meal than me."
The troll was getting very hungry,
but the troll did not want to waste its appetite
on a middle-sized candidate
if there was an even bigger one to come.
"All right, you can cross my bridge," the troll rumbled.
"Go and get fatter on the campaign trail
and I'll eat you on your way back!"
So John Edwards scampered across to the other side.
The troll did not have to wait long
for Senator Barack Obama.
Tromp-tramp, tromp-tramp went his confident stride
as he stomped across the wooden planks.
"Fired up! Ready to go!" went the crowds at his events.
"Who’s that stomping over my bridge?" roared the troll, resting his/her chin on his hands.
"Barack Obama," said the third candidate in a deep voice.
"I'm going up to Washington
to bring hope, change and peace."
"Oh no you're not," said the troll
as he/she clambered up on to the bridge.
"I'm going to slander you for breakfast!"
"That's what you think, "
said Barack Obama.
Then, with Michelle and Iowa voters at his side, he galloped along the bridge and stunned the ugly troll.
Up, up, up went the troll into the air...
then down, down, down in the polls.
The troll disappeared below the radar,
and was gone.
So much for those negative attacks,
thought Barack Obama.
"Now time for hope and change!"
And he walked in triumph over the bridge
to join his supporters on the White House lawn.
From then on everyone could cross the democratic bridge whenever they liked -
Thanks to Senator Barack Obama.
Obama "08 in spite of all the trolls!