Congress is showboating again, pretending to address U.S. energy dependency. They just passed new fuel efficiency standards – which they also did in the 1970s, and fuel efficiency of cars is worse now than it was then. The game is, they set standards to be met in the future, then their fervent contributors in the oil lobby and the car industry lobby get them to back down as soon as people begin to forget.
At the same time, congress is moving toward a huge program to convert corn and other biomass into ethanol, which is driving up food prices and consuming as much energy as it saves. That boondoggle will also evaporate, after making a number of insiders rich.
My energy plan has no such cynicism and corruption. It’s pure science and common sense.
First, measure the energy potential of biomass. You can use Einstein’s equation, e=mc2, if you plan to convert all of the matter into energy, but most people cringe at nuclear power. I use a different, more realistic measure:
The worse something tastes, the more energy it contains.
Gasoline and uranium taste terrible. Corn is pretty good, so it’s a weak energy source. The worst tasting, most powerful energy generators of all figure to be parsley, cilantro, and ratatouille. Ask the French army – their machine guns go ratatouille, ratatouille, ratatouille!
As for parsley, I subscribe to the theory that it’s controlled by the Mafia. Nobody wants it. Everybody gets it.
I was going to include gazpacho soup because that could be piped directly into the refinery, but Barb likes gazpacho, so I’ll substitute asparagus. And chicken sausage.
Of course tastes differ, so we can all show up in the town square with our own choices, and have a priest bless the whole pile and then say a biomass.
Okay, so it won’t generate much energy. It won’t use much, either; and people like me will feel much better knowing that the insiders are on the outside, there are no billions to steal, and the parsley has gone to glory.
Cross posted from The Horse You Rode In On