Glenn Grenwald tells us our friends on the right are now inventing quotes from Abraham Lincoln:
[Frank] Gaffney begins his column by purporting to quote Abraham Lincoln. Gaffney claims that Lincoln said:
Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.
This quote has become a favorite weapon for those who want to criminalize criticism of the Leader and the War. Jack Murtha's opponent in the last election, Diana Irey, cited this quote while discussing Murtha's opposition to the war.
But this quote is completely invented. Lincoln never said it. This "quote" was first attributed to Lincoln by J. Michael Waller in Insight Magazine, in a 2003 article revealingly entitled: Democrats Usher in an Age of Treason. But as Waller himself now admits, the quote attributed to Lincoln is completely fraudulent.
I say, why should they have all the fun? Let's make up our own Lincoln quotes.
Here's a few to get things started:
"George W. Bush is a king-sized horse's ass." -- Abraham Lincoln
"Ya know what's really good? Pie." -- Abraham Lincoln
"You're killing people over this black gooey stuff? Ick." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The most terrifying words in the English language are 'I'm from the
government and I'm here to help.' Oh, wait -- that's only for the
Confederate government. Hah! Total burn! You should see your face right now. Damn I wish somebody would move their ass and invent an instant camera..." -- Abraham Lincoln
"I never even wanted to be president. I wanted to be... a lumberjack!" -- Abraham Lincoln
"Where are all the white women at?" -- Abraham Lincoln
Add your own -- or rather, add Lincoln's own. Feel free to make up a date when these inspiring pronouncements were uttered by Mr. Lincoln. He won't mind -- he had a great sense of humor. Just don't call him "Abe" -- he really hated that.
While you're "researching" these "quotes", here are a couple of real quotes from some of Mr. Lincoln's more noteworthy successors.
From Theodore Roosevelt:
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
From Dwight D. Eisenhower:
"...we must remember that we are defending a way of life, not merely property, wealth, and even our homes... Should we have to resort to anything resembling a garrson state, then all that we are striving to defend...could disappear."
I give the final word to Abraham Lincoln himself. From his second Inaugural Address:
Instant karma's gonna get you.