And it had been going so well.
With a massive outpouring of community support, I thought that I actually had a chance to become the new symbol of freedom - Captain America.
But, alas, it was not to be.
More details, including why this is Kos' fault, after the flip.
Despite everyone's favorite iconoclast putting in a bid (I even had a story description), it turns out that it just wasn't the way the shield bounces. Ricochets. Whatever.
You see, apparently Steve Rogers had a will. And, in his will, he left his unbreakable adamantium vibranium-steel alloy shield to "the only man he believed had the red, white, and blue balls to carry the mantle".
Steven Colbert.
Now, I'm not saying that ol' Steve isn't the guy. Let's face it, he looks a hell of a lot better in tights than I do.
And he certainly has the street cred - not too many people would tell off the President from six feet away and make him like it.
Except Condi. And Harriet. And maybe Laura when she's not toxed. Oh, you get the point.
But dammit, if the late Steve Rogers had only known about me, had only known who I was and the details of my long, bitter fight against the wingnuts and Bushites and fascist wannabes, I'm sure he would have bequeathed the mask, the shield, and the mantle of Captain America upon me.
But, let's face it - he had no idea who I am.
Because I wasn't on Kos' blogroll.
And, for this, I blame you, Kos.