I'm used to coming home to things stuck under my door - flyers from Domino's Pizza; Chinese restaurant menus; flyers from Realtors, "Thinking of Moving? Call Me for a FREE HOME EVALUATION!" and so on. It's all junk to me, but the tactic must get some results or no one would spend their time and money just to fill up my recycle bin.
I got an email from a friend this morning about a flyer he found under his door recently. It seems the US Military has taken a page out of the Domino's Pizza marketing manual:
NOW HIRING
Some of the many benefits provided:
• Free Medical
• Free Dental
• Free Tuition Assistance available for college
• Guaranteed Pay and Entitlements
• 30 days paid vacation!!!!!!!
• No Experience Needed!!!!!!!
Some of the jobs available:
• Accounting Specialist
• Civil Affair Specialist
• Carpenter
• Air Traffic Control Op.
• Computer System Rep.
• Electrician
• Medical Equipment Repair
• Helicopter Repair
• Firefighter
• Animal Care Specialist
• Dental Specialist
• Guitar Player
• Broadcast Journalist
• Military Police
• Practical Nurse
• Intelligence Analyst
• Pharmacy Specialist
• Watercraft Op.
REQUIREMENTS
• Must be a US citizen or resident of the US
• Must be between the ages of 17-42
• Must pass medical pre-screen
• Must have a High School Diploma or GED
*CURRENTLY OFFERING OVER 200 JOBS WAITING TO BE FILLED!!!!!!
*SOME JOBS HAVE A SIGNING BONUS UP TO $ 40,000
*SOME JOBS CAN PROVIDE YOU UP TO $ 70,000 FOR COLLEGE
FOR MORE INFO. PLEASE CONTACT Staff Sergeant Schultz
My friend, who has served several tours in Iraq, then went on with an excellent satiric commentary on this supposedly great job opportunity. (Think Jon Stewart/Steven Colbert) I would love to share it, but he's still active duty, and, well - I'm sure there are enough great satirists on this blog that you can use your fertile imaginations to fill in what I've left out for the sake of my friend's anonymity. (And I look forward to reading it!)
It's sad to think that the US Military has been reduced to using the marketing strategy of the kid who wants to cut my lawn in the summertime - actually, the kid who wants to cut my lawn is more ethical, his flyers spell out exactly what he's offering and exactly what it will cost me.