Once upon a time there were three little Pugs and the time came for them to leave the establishment trough and go outside the beltway to seek some voters.
Before they left, Mother Rove told them "Whatever you do, lie continually and be the dirtiest low down scum that you can because that's the way to get ahead in the new world order we've created."
The first little Pug built his house out of War because it was the easiest thing to do.
The second little Pug built his house out of religious Hicks because his faith was supposed to be stronger than the house of War.
The third little Pug built his house out of Pricks, because authoritarians and vulture capitalists always crave more power and money.
One year before the election time, the big bad Democrats, who dearly loved to eat fat little Puggies, woke up and saw the first little Pug hiding in his house of War.
They said "Give it up, give it up, little Pug or we'll tell you the truth and blow your house in!"
"We are winning the War on Terra!" shouted out the little Pug.
Knowing this was a huge lie, the big bad Democrats did blow his house down and ate the first little Pug and spat out the bones.
The big bad Democrats now imbued with a spine then came to the house of Hicks.
They said "Give it up, give it up, little Pug or we'll tell you the truth and blow your house in!"
"The book of Mormon will protect me!" squealed the little Pug.
But of course the big bad Democrats knew the land had always been Secular regardless of evangelical protestations and the big bad Democrats did blow his house down and ate the second little Pug and spat out the bones.
The big bad Democrat then came to the strongest home, the house of Pricks.
They said "Give it up, give it up, little Pug or we'll tell you the truth and blow your house in!"
"I'm really America's Librul Mayor" said the last Pug in the running cowering in the corner.
But of course big bad Democrats laughed "Yeah, we really need a Pug "lite" candidate right now, we believe in the Constitution, justice and equality " and the big bad Democrats did blow his house down and ate the last little Pug and spat out the bones.
The very next day Congress invited Mother Rove over with a subpoena. "You see it is just the opposite. The way to get along in the world is to do the right things as well as you can." The entire House of conservative cards was blown away during the series of perp walks and the world lived happily ever after.
Read this story to your kids .... repeatedly .... well maybe change the word "Pricks" ... and probably "Hicks" :)