The TV Guide Channel has sacked Joan Rivers and her daughter, Melissa, from their annual Emmy Awards red carpet gig... But grieve not. They've already been hired to greet hack presidential candidates arriving for prayer vigils following national calamities.
Homeland Security officials have found "rampant fraud" in a third of all visas issued to foreign "religious workers"... Blessed Are the Self-Righteous for They Shall Inherit a Green Card.
A new word-for-word, two CD dramatic reading of the bible stars Terrence Stamp as God, Luke Perry as Judas and Marissa Tomei as Mary Magdelene... And Don Imus does a nifty turn as a nappy-headed Nubian slave.
Keep going... this gets better!
A surveillance video shows a Mankato, Minnesota jailer beating an inmate with a bible... The "King James Knuckle-Buster" version commissioned by the Pentagon for use at Abu Gharib.
Senator Ted Stevens has toppled Strom Thurmond's longevity record in Congress... And he went Strom one better----he did it while still alive.
Cirque du Soleil will produce a new show based on the life and times of Elvis... The finale of which will feature acrobats scaling a giant lucite Fender guitar filled with multi-colored prescription hallucinogenics.
Charles de Gaulle Airport has unveiled a 2.2 mile long driverless train... Amtrak runs driverless trains too----but not on purpose.
A new Pew Research poll shows that only 69% of Americans can identify a picture of Dick Cheney... About the same percentage that can identify him in a lineup following one of his "hunting" trips.
The British pound has passed the $2 mark as inflation in England surges... To put this in laymens terms, it now costs Tony Blair twice as much to get hostages released.
Excerpted from: www.bereftontheleft.blogspot.com