Now that WOULD be news, eh?
That would be breaking news. I haven't seen that smirking fascist tell it straight once since the first time I heard of him.
I've seen three different "Gonzales LIED" stories in the past day and a half. Not just here. EVERYWHERE. Think the message is getting through? This guy is a serial liar and he can't possibly continue as Attorney General.
So I thought I'd break up the monotony. There is a risk that people will think that this series of exposed lies, is really ONE exposed lie getting a lot of coverage. People can get confused like that. Especially when dealing with liars.
So, I thought I would just put a headline up that says that Gonzales has told the truth. It's not true. In fact, it's an outright lie. I'm getting into college logic class territory here, or if you like, one of your favorite riddles.
Suppose that tomorrow, Alberto Gonzales woke up a changed man--after being visited by supernatural beings who transport him to the fiery realms of hell and show him liars having their tongues eaten by vicious reptilian creatures with acidic saliva.
He then calls a press conference and is completely truthful about EVERYTHING.
I know. It seems just about as likely as the part about supernatural beings. But why not talk about mythical creatures shaping history from beyond the shadows? After all, we are discussing Gonzales, not someone who can be taken at his word if he says the sun rises in the East.
But maybe Gonzales will have that "Come to Jesus Moment." Maybe he isn't really a dishonest fellow. Maybe his serial and pathological inability to tell the truth, even about small things, is because of a virus. You know, just something going around the office. Rove looks like a perverted caldron of disease, so maybe Gonzales picked something up from him back in Texas. Yeah, that's it! They are all just really really sick, and they need help!
Maybe it's not a virus though. Maybe it's some kind of drug problem. You know, that land in Paraguay could be a rehab center for the Neocon Conspiracy. They didn't mean to seize power and mass murder hundreds of thousands of people, it was the drugs. What drug? Well, I don't know, but it's probably not on the streets yet. Cheney has a lot of connections. He could probably get some real mind controlling stuff. It's an inhalant called "Reich" and it turns you into a Nazi fantasist.
Well, this diary is just full of lies. Not very good ones either.
In order to be an effective liar, you have to lie well enough that the lie is believable for a long enough time that it doesn't matter anymore when the lie is found out. At least, that seems to be the operating principle in the Bush Administration. Who cares how we got into a war? We're in a war!
But Bush thinks Gonzo can be effective as Attorney General. An effective liar? Well, maybe not if he is being outed as a liar on a regular basis. And that's really how they have to convince Bush to get rid of Gonzo. He's not an effective enough liar. What you need, Mr. President, is a better liar.
Of course, when we sell Bush on this "new liar" idea, we have to lie to him. We have to make him think that he really is getting a better liar, and then--the bait and switch.
Skeptical? Me too. I know I couldn't pull it off. I'm having a hard time justifying my brazenly false headline.