I was feeling down about the Iraq supplemental and repining that so many of our Congresscritters don't seem to possess a spine. Then I read an AP story about Monica Goodling testifying before the House that bathed me in a glow of good feeling as AP reporter, Laurie Kellman, drew word pictures for me of the proceedings that convinced me my Democratic representatives are not only vertebrates, but actually predatory jungle cats ready to spring upon the unwary to wreak their awful vengeance...
"Was the attorney general trying to shake your recollection?" asked Rep. Artur Davis, D-Ala.
Goodling paused.
"I just did not know if it was a conversation we should be having and so I just didn't say anything," she replied. She added that she thought Gonzales was trying to be kind.
Democrats pounced.
"It certainly has the flavor of trying to get their stories straight," said Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif., a member of the committee.
I had to admit that sweet, blond Monica Goodling did a good impression of a quivering doe trapped in a sunlit dappled glen. The image of the ferocious Adam Schiff, D-Calif, hovered before my eyes.
Then a buzzer went off in my head. I checked to make sure it wasn't the oven timer, then focused on the phrase Democrats pounced. Hadn't I read that very phrase before and in an article about the USA purge scandal even? Being a middle-aged mom with two kids, one of whom is a very active four-year-old boy, my memory isn't the greatest, but something about that powerful big cat imagery resonated in my not quite-yet hollow brain. Hmmmm. Time to consult mother's little helper -- Google.
And then I found it -- or rather them. Not one but two articles featuring pouncing Democrats. Both were from the AP and both were written by the obviously feline-loving Ms. Kellman. One was an article about how the White House pressured hospitalized Ashcroft to OK domestic spying:
Democrats pounced on Comey's testimony as evidence of what they say is Gonzales' tendency to put loyalty to Bush ahead of most everything — including Justice's tradition of independence from the politics of the White House.
And one was a story about how the pseudo-feline Chuck Hagel called for the resignation of Attorney General Gonzales:
Democrats elicited the tale of Gonzales’ bedside visit to Ashcroft in 2004 — then pounced on it as an example of what they said is the attorney general’s habit of putting Bush’s interests ahead of virtually all else.
I was beginning to smell a pattern, or was it just congressional lion droppings? Were there any other stories of Democrats pouncing to be found?
As it turned out, there were.
On May 1st there was an article about great water buffalo Alberto Gonzales signing an order (presumably with his hoof) that gave quivering doe Monica Goodling and oddly spotted capybara Kyle Sampson firing authority. The smell of blood was in the air as Democrats circled their prey...
The March 2006 order gave Gonzales' then-Chief of Staff Kyle Sampson and later White House liaison Monica Goodling authority to hire and fire about 135 politically appointed Justice Department employees who did not require Senate confirmation....
When Gonzales issued the order, top Justice Department officials were well into the process of determining which U.S. attorneys to fire. A month later, Goodling became White House liaison. The list eventually was narrowed to eight U.S. attorneys, and their dismissals began in December.
The uproar that ensued spawned congressional and internal Justice Department investigations, claimed Sampson's and Goodling's jobs and imperiled Gonzales' position.
Democrats pounced on news of the order, complaining that it had not been turned over to them among thousands of other documents released by the department about the firings.
On March 23rd, an AP USA purge story appeared describing those fierce Democratic predators on the hunt as they ravenously discovered documents showing Gonzales approved firings. Strangely, though, it was under a different byline. For a moment, I was stumped. Surely faux-Cat Woman, Lara Jakes Jordan, could be no match for Laurie "the Meow" Kellman when it came to conjuring up nature's carnage so skillfully:
Gonzales this week directed the Justice Department's Office of Professional Responsibility to investigate the circumstances of the firings, officials said. The department's inspector general also will participate in that investigation.
Nonetheless Democrats pounced late Friday.
Fortunately for my sanity, I finally spied the note at the end of the article stating that
Associated Press writer Laurie Kellman contributed to this report.
I heaved a sigh of relief, but my quest was still not done. There was still an earlier example of a USA purge story by the Meow to be found. Way back on February 8th she wrote an AP article full of that great jungle prose for which she is known as she described the ferocity of Senatorial hunters baring teeth and possibly subpoenas as they followed spoor cast down by traitor-to-all-ungulates McNulty:
Earlier this week, his deputy, Paul McNulty, told the panel that some of the ousted prosecutors were fired for performance-related causes he would not describe, while others were asked to leave without cause.
Democrats pounced, demanding the performance reports of all seven dismissed prosecutors and threatening to subpoena them. McNulty cautioned that the reports might not detail any reasons for dismissal.
Sighing with satisfaction, I revelled in a job well done and prepared to lay back on my well-deserved couch of repose (once it had been cleared of toys, books, empty dishes, somersaulting son, and tired husband). However, the Google would not leave me in peace. Instead, it spat out some non-USA purge citations by the Meow. Wearily, I tracked them down.
I followed a trail of tears to Congress questions Bush's claims he can ignore laws he signs. The brutality of the scene made me shudder:
Snow spoke as Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter opened hearings on Bush's use of bill signing statements saying he reserves the right to revise, interpret or disregard a measure on national security and constitutional grounds. Such statements have accompanied some 750 statutes passed by Congress -- including a ban on the torture of detainees and the renewal of the Patriot Act.
"There is a sense that the president has taken signing statements far beyond the customary purview," Specter, R-Pa., said. "It's a challenge to the plain language of the Constitution," he added.
Democrats pounced, saying the signing statements are the latest example of the administration's expansion of executive power.
Then I macheted my way through the primeval forest where the House GOP goes to Shrug Off Setbacks and escape Nancy "the Lion Queen" Pelosi.
We're not having trouble," Majority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, insists. "This is your typical legislative meat grinder."
Privately, many are frustrated. Democrats have pounced on the lack of progress with a "we can do better" election theme.
"I wish the election were today," House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi of California said last week, summing up a list of "Republican failures."
Finally, gathering the last of my strength, I made my way up to the pinnacle of Meowness and gazed upon the chronicle of Cheney, circa July 2000, where the first recorded pouncing Democrat was scrawled upon a smoky cave wall:
It may only be a few days since George W. Bush announced his choice for running mate, but it feels like months. Republican vice-presidential candidate Dick Cheney has met a media reception that reminds many Americans about what is wrong with the Washington press....
"According to the Washington Post, he "struggled to explain his votes" while Bush "jumped in" — as if Cheney's record and performance were so poor he needed help. Even as Cheney argued for understanding his votes in context, the Post wrote that he "suggested that he had softened some of his hard-line conservative positions." One doubts "hard-line" was the term the soft-spoken Cheney used to describe his record.
When Cheney "defended" the use of the surplus for Social Security, AP reporter Laurie Kellman said the Democrats "pounced on the remark"...