The perky automated voice told me the call was for a survey whose results would be on the TV - as if knowing you answered the questions they're showing would change someone's mind to do the survey. Myself, I enjoy seeing what pulse of the country they are trying to gather, with everything going on...
The Plame case being tossed?
The Presidon't commuting Scooter?
Senator Vitter in a diaper?
The all-night Senate session?
Osama's latest demo tape?
Guess the real questions from the fakes on the flip.
To keep the list short, I removed the basic demo questions (age, income, race, political affiliation, children, etc) from the list below, and added a few for my own enjoyment.
Which questions are the real ones?
- Have you ever told someone I love you to sleep with them?
- Should people be allowed to keep Pit Bulls as pets?
- Do you believe Congress has the right to dictate foreign policy?
- Are you annoyed with people who don't speak English?
- Have you ever used a bidet?
- If you are married and french kiss someone else, is it cheating?
- Do you believe that Alberto Gonzalez should resign?
- Do you believe the government should provide health care?
- Who is a better parent - Alec Baldwin or Kim Basinger?
- Have you ever traveled more than 50 miles from your home?
- If you knew then what you know now, would you still marry your partner?
- Do you think the country would be better, or worse, with a three-party system?
- Do you believe that minorities are treated unfairly in the judicial system?
- Do you support the all-night Senate session on Iraq funding?
At first, I didn't think much of it until I started to see a pattern that made me think this wasn't your normal survey. But this survey was for the TeeVee! How could you dare ask these questions in this manner? Of course, I was surprised when a Dallas number popped up and it wasn't my friends down there... at least this was better than a "we have bad news" call.
If guessed the false questions were the ones that contain Congress, Senate, party, bidet, resign or government, then you were correct. Not a single goddamned question of importance. I spent 5 minutes to answer questions that have no #(%&ing importance in the real world, only to realize the circus that'll be sneaking into town tonight.
At least now I can sleep comfortably knowing that we have a weeks worth of Hollywood liberals, Michael Vick and marital infidelity awaiting me.
Which is your favorite fluff questions?
