In the past few weeks, MPetrelis in a diary and EddieC in a comment have alluded to the unfortunate incident last month at a Manhattan restaurant called Caliente Cab Company. Here's a fuller description of what happened, what's been done in response so far, why IMHO it matters, and what you can do to help.
WHAT HAPPENED ON JUNE 24
After the NYC LGBT Pride parade on Sunday, June 24, Khadijah Farmer stopped for dinner at Caliente Cab Company, a restaurant at the corner of 7th Avenue and Bleecker Street. Ms. Farmer, an African American lesbian woman, was dining with her partner and another female friend. They ordered appetizers and entrees, but the latter hadn’t come yet when Ms. Farmer visited the restroom.
While she was in a stall, a male restaurant employee came into the restroom, banged on the stall door, stated that another customer had complained about the presence of a man in the ladies’ room and demanded that Ms. Farmer come out. She emerged from the stall, explained that she is in all respects female, and offered to show the restaurant employee an ID to "prove" her gender. He responded "that’s neither here nor there" and asked her to leave the restaurant. Restaurant staff then demanded that Ms. Farmer’s two companions pay the tab for their full meal (most of which had not yet been served) and leave the premises immediately. Ms. Farmer’s partner asked to speak to the restaurant manager, but was told the "bouncer" who evicted her lover from the restroom was "acting as manager" that night and his decision was final.
To provide some context, Caliente Cab Company, a Mexican restaurant known for its margaritas and garish taxi-themed décor, is located at a very busy intersection in the West Village, one of the traditional centers of NYC’s LGBT community (it’s about three blocks from the site of the 1969 Stonewall riots). Ms. Farmer has a short haircut and on the day of Pride was wearing a shirt and pants that could be construed as "masculine." She has publicly explained that she’s been questioned in women’s restrooms before, but a calm statement that she was in the right place was always before enough to resolve the "problem." Since this story broke, many other anecdotes have surfaced about LGBT people having negative experiences at Caliente—the most common story seems to involve a male couple being "skipped" on the list of folks waiting for a table.
THE AFTERMATH
The next day, the couple called the restaurant to express displeasure and demand an apology for the way they were treated; they were offered a free meal, but not an apology.
Ms. Farmer subsequently secured representation from the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF). [TLDEF’s mission encompasses advocacy for gender non-conforming people and anyone experiencing discrimination on the basis of gender expression.]
TLDEF held a press conference, at which Ms. Farmer told her story, her parents expressed disbelief that their daughter would be treated this way in the modern era, and TLDEF attorney Michael Silverman demanded that the restaurant create and enforce a nondiscrimination policy, train its employees on respectful interaction with gender nonconforming patrons, and compensate Ms. Farmer and her companions. Subsequently, Silverman has met with representatives of the restaurant, with Christine Quinn (the lesbian City Council Speaker who represents the district where the incident occurred) and Tom Duane (the local state senator, also openly gay) participating in the negotiations. No apology has ensued and no deal has been reached. The restaurant issued a statement indicating that it had "thoroughly investigated" the incident and determined that Ms. Farmer’s version of events was untrue, but it did not explain its own version. It also accused Ms. Farmer of moneygrubbing, a classic PR tactic among institutions accused of discrimination.
TLDEF has assisted Ms. Farmer in filing a complaint with the New York City Commission on Human Rights in connection with the incident. After negotiations with the restaurant apparently broke down, TLDEF also stated that it anticipated filing civil litigation on Ms. Farmer’s behalf.
The Queer Justice League (QJL), a nascent grassroots activist group, on July 15 began holding weekly protests outside Caliente Cab Company to raise awareness of the incident and discourage passersby from patronizing the restaurant.
PRESS COVERAGE
The initial TLDEF press conference sparked coverage in the Advocate, the New York Daily News, and many other news outlets and blogs. Andy Humm, a reporter for Gay City News with an activist background, has taken a strong interest in this story and filed several articles (e.g. http://gaycitynews.com/... http://gaycitynews.com/... ). A lengthy segment about the incident also aired on a Manhattan-only cable TV station.
WHY IT MATTERS
-- I’m not in a position to render an official professional opinion, but as a lawyer who’s followed the stories, it seems very clear that what happened to Ms. Farmer on 6/24 was a violation of the New York City Human Rights Law.
-- As a matter of health, comfort, and basic dignity, everyone has the right to use public restrooms. Restroom access is a problem on a daily basis for millions of gender-nonconforming people across the country.
-- "Mistakes" of gender identification happen and employees in customer contact positions have to make difficult choices sometimes. However, in this case, Ms. Farmer’s effort to resolve the problem by showing her driver’s license was rudely rejected. Worse, restaurant management here have repeatedly refused to apologize, and they seem to prefer escalating the conflict to admitting their mistake.
-- It’s very easy to become complacent, as a middle-class queer person in 2007 New York City – to think that legal protections and economic privilege have insulated the LGBT community from the slings and arrows of "the old days" or "where we grew up." This illustrates that, even at 7th and Bleecker on the day of Pride, some of us are still being blatantly disrespected.
-- This is winnable. We as a community of queer people and allies have the power to express anger about this, to drive business away from Caliente, and to encourage management of other establishments to behave differently if ever a conflict arises about access to the restroom. It’s not an injustice as broad as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell or as deep as the sentencing of the Newark 4, but it’s important as a case study in discrimination and community response.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
-- Don’t patronize Caliente Cab Company. Tell all your friends and contacts why they should avoid it too – particularly if they’re planning an NYC visit and are susceptible to tourist kitsch like a restaurant with a huge fake taxi sticking out of the façade.
-- Call the restaurant to demand an apology and a commitment to employee training: (212) 243-8517
-- Make sure the establishments where you work and socialize have legal and respectful restroom policies...for more on this issue in general, check out the awesome work of the Sylvia Rivera Law Project (sadly, http://www.pissr.org seems to have lapsed into oblivion).
-- To learn more and help out, get in touch with the Queer Justice League...monitor that MySpace link for updates on the weekly protests and other actions, email me at the address on my Kos profile, or just check out one of our weekly meetings, Thursdays at 8pm at the NYC LGBT Community Center (208 W. 13th Street).