Democrats believe that in the privacy of bedrooms, anything goes. Republicans feel the same way about men’s rooms.
Democrats say children deserve an education, housing, and health insurance. On those issues Republicans say screw children; those of the Mark Foley type actually do so.
Democrats call on girls to run for office. Republicans call call girls.
Democrats believe women should enjoy reproductive rights. Republicans don’t much care about women, but they do believe men should enjoy other men.
Democrats read the bible metaphorically and symbolically. Republicans read the bible literally and practically, especially the bits about Sodom and Gomorrah.
Democrats bend over backwards to accommodate opposing views. Republicans bend over backward.
Democrats think grabbing one’s ankles is the introduction to a session of calisthenics. Republicans think it’s an introduction.
Call a Democrat an ass-hole and you’ll have a fight.Call a Republican an ass-hole and you’ll have a date.
Democrats swear by all that’s holy. So do the Republicans, but they spell it ‘holey.’
Democrats value judicial reviews. Republicans value judicious rear views.
Democrats believe in the uses of ever more diversity to facilitate public discourse. Republicans believe in ever more diverse uses of public facilities.
Democrats find eau de toilette romantic. Republicans find romance in toilets.