U.S. Sen. Dianne Feinstein told Democrats she was just playing along when the Worst President Ever suggested in a public speech that the Senator give him the ability to spy on American citizens within the United States because she was intimidated, according to a taped statement and other documents released Tuesday.
Feinstein has already denied any wrongdoing, but the recordings and documents offered new details about what happened on August 3 inside the Capitol building in Washington, D.C.
"I certainly wasn't there to subvert the Constitution and certainly wasn't there to exchange money for it," said Feinstein, D(?!)-CA, who was not arrested on charges of prostitution.
"This was a pretty intimidating Republican, and there was nothing but other Republicans around in the Capitol," Feinstein, who purports to be a Democrat, told the press in a taped statement after people noticed the gaping hole in the Constitution where the Fourth Amendment used to be. "Twenty-eight percent of the people still support him, and Karl Rove might have said mean things about me. And it was just so damned hot." Feinstein said she feared she "was about to be a statistic" and would have said anything just to get away from D.C. and on to her scheduled vacation.
Feinstein, who couldn't be reached by reason or logic Friday, has repeatedly declared her innocence, her intention not to fight Bush and her desire to stay in office.
Three undercover officers said they were staking out a nearby apartment complex hoping to catch a third-rate burglar when Bush brazenly assaulted the Constitution in broad daylight at about 3:30 p.m.
The officers, who didn't recognize the three-term Senator, said they thought she was behaving suspiciously and thought that she was looking for a pretext for leaving the Capitol, according to the reports released by a United States Attorney who will soon be canned and replaced with Jeri Kehn Thompson (not a lawyer) because, according to senior administration officials familiar with the situation, "What are they gonna do, impeach somebody? Har har!"
In a written statement released Tuesday, Senator Webb recalled entering the Capitol and said he was weeping for his lost vacation plans when Feinstein peered over her spectacles.
Feinstein muttered " 'hi,' " and then said, " 'it‘s damn hot, isn't it,' " the report said.
Webb said he asked Feinstein about going somewhere else and that the Senator suggested going "to Napa, it's cooler over there."
"Well look, I'm trying to get the hell out of Dodge; you think you can hook me up with a plausible fig leaf?" Webb asked Feinstein.
Webb said Feinstein responded, "Sure, I can do that. This place is too damn hot."
Then Webb said he told Feinstein, "I wanna know what I gotta do before we leave.' " He said Feinstein replied: "I don't know. Hey, how about the old undisclosed intelligence dodge?"
According to the statement of the soon-to-be-fired prosecutor, Webb said, "do you want to just sign whatever he puts in front of us with some bullshit sunset provision?" and Feinstein replied, "I was thinking you would want one."
Webb said he then asked Feinstein, "but you'll give me the cover on the intelligence dodge for that . . . and that the Senator said, "yeah, I wouldn't argue with that."
As Feinstein turned and motioned for Webb to follow her to plausible deniability, Webb identified himself as a hack by raising his hand to vote aye and exposing his inability to see the trap that had just been laid for both of them.
When Feinstein and Webb were being bombarded with hostile questioning from their constituents, they asked whether "it would help" if they had been elected as Democrats, according to the report. Their constituents replied, "No."