Call me libertine, call me decadent, but to these ears, the word "taser" evokes many a wild night in the stacks at my old Alma Mater with my favorite student organization. Yes, it's true a taser can kill if used in excess or without due care. Yes, perhaps 150 have died in arrests involving tasers. The fact remains, however, that there is nothing quite like a taser, whether it's suppressing the frantic or exciting the reticent.
To the uninitiated freshmen ladies, it may have seemed "shocking" -- and indeed to a fair number of the stalwart freshman lads as well, though I can only give second hand accounts of that -- but to a one, the searing jolt of energy came to be a hallmark of Friday night debauchery, the preferred release by the end of the first round of finals. There really is nothing quite like the start a good taser delivers.
Compared with some of the alternatives, the taser is rather hygenic, almost never drawing blood, and slightly less prone to cause scarring. This is especially true of those models having a variety of settings, though one risks being seen as a lightweight for going too easy. What with the cold grip of those persistent remanents of the puritans closed around the heart of our government, I can't think the University of Florida (or any other state institution for that matter) would have such diverse offerings when it comes to extracurriculars, so it seems unlikely that the young fellow who made such a ruckus there and in our own diary section had cultivated an appreciation for the taser before his experience with it. I seem to recall more enraptured responses to the prospect than "Don't tase me, bro" back in my day. But one hopes, with a bit of practice, our citizenry might gain a better sense of the taser's many virtues.
My advice on tasers is not knock them before having tried them. People always decry new things as brutal or dangerous or this or that, but this betrays a decidedly conservative attitude, the stuff of local news programming. Who amongst us could not profit from a bit of adventure? Of excitement? My only request is that you go in search of your first tasing experience with a consenting adult, not some poor security guard.