Saturdays On the Radio With George Part II
This morning, near the crack of dawn (ranch time,) me 'n my buddy George spent some real quality radio time together. It's a weekly thing for us. I might not see George for weeks and weeks on end, but come Saturdays, I know I can always count on a good old-fashioned radio conversation with him. He gets right on down here with us regular folks, and communicates with us in a medium we can all understand. We hemmed, we hawed, and once all the sewing and lefty-riding was done, we got down to the real business of standing up tall and proud in our saddles, trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored. George had grape juice, I had coffee, and we sure settled a few things between us. We always do.
In just eight days, the State Children's Health Insurance Program -- or "SCHIP" -- is set to expire. This important program helps children whose families cannot afford private health insurance, but who do not qualify for Medicaid, to get the coverage they need. I strongly supported SCHIP as a governor, and have strongly supported it as President. My 2008 budget proposed to increase SCHIP funding by $5 billion over five years, a 20 percent increase over current funding.
Thank pod you've come to your senses, my leige. I always thought SCHIP schounded a little too much like Schiff, as in Adam Schiff, the liberal DA on Law & Order, didn't you? I guess that's ok if you want people to think it's a liberal program, but bust it up George, you need to be a Voice in the Wilderness here, and keep Our People from getting lost! Who cares if everyone and his brother is in favor of Schiff's law, you and the Loyalists in the House must stand firm. Walk tall, and don't worry about those little fingers you're crushing under your feet. By pod, if the worker bees have enough money to have a job, then they have enough money to pay for health insurance! That's what I always say.
Instead of working with my Administration to enact this funding increase for children's health, Democrats in Congress have decided to pass a bill they know will be vetoed. One of their leaders has even said such a veto would be a "political victory." As if this weren't irresponsible enough, Congress is waiting until the SCHIP program is just about to expire before passing a final bill. In other words, Members of Congress are risking health coverage for poor children purely to make a political point.
Let's all say that again, hon, "Members of Congress are risking health coverage for poor children purely to make a political point." Hallelujia, and pass the roses, a veto will teach those rat bastards not to cross you, won't it? Hey - you know that money that will be just sitting there after the Schifty's Law dies out? Donchoo suppose you could shift a little of that over to the Office of Faith and Initiative? They could take care of all those poor chillens, couldn't they? Yeah, yeah, I'm seeing a light here, George, a light at the end of the shifting tunnel. The churches can minister to the poor! That's what they're for, right?
The proposal congressional leaders are pushing would raise taxes on working Americans and would raise spending by $35 to $50 billion. Their proposal would result in taking a program meant to help poor children and turning it into one that covers children in some households with incomes of up to $83,000 a year. And their proposal would move millions of children who now have private health insurance into government-run health care. Our goal should be to move children who have no health insurance to private coverage -- not to move children who already have private health insurance to government coverage.
::puff::whooooooo:::::.... How dare they want to tax us working 'Mericans! Why, I won't be able to afford my smokes anymore if they steal all my moneys to pay for chillens health. What do they need to see doctors for anyway? They're kids! They're young, they're healthy! Me? I need those dollars to pay for my pulmonary specialist. Do you know what that guy's charging me these days? Gadzooks and little centavos, between him and the cigs, it's costing me a fortune to support the tobacco lobby these days.
Oh, btw, I had another idea the other day, and I wanted to run it by you. You know how Arnie banned teenagers from using cellphones when they drive? How's about we ban kids from working class families from using doctors before they're 18! We could allow babies, because I know they need shots 'n stuff to keep 'em from getting genital herpes or whatever that is, but from the ages of 5 - 18, they should remain health care-free. What do you think? Once they're human again, you know, say, after draft age, we can sorta ease 'em on into the real world, and let them spend $150 for every $1000 they earn on subsidizing the insurance racke... er, I mean supporting the private insurance industry. That sounds fair, doesn't it? Unless of course, they want one of those gold-plated insurance plans. Oh! That gives me another idea! We could combine selective service registration with health coverage sign ups at age 18! Think of all the tax-payer dollars we can save that way!
My Administration remains committed to working with Congress to pass a responsible SCHIP bill. In the meantime, I called this week for Congress to make sure health insurance for poor children does not lapse. If they fail to do so, more than a million children could lose health coverage. Health coverage for these children should not be held hostage while political ads are being made and new polls are being taken. Congress must pass a clean, temporary extension of the current SCHIP program that I can sign by September 30th, the date the program expires.
Committed you are, and committed you should be, good buddy. Pods, we sure don't want to keep those poor chillen from having government subsidized health insurance, when we can keep everyone from having it, do we? Veto-on, George! I'm right behind you. It's the Democrat's fault for sure.
In addition to extending the SCHIP program, Congress needs to focus on passing fundamental spending bills -- especially the annual funding bill for the Department of Defense. Congress must also pass additional funding for our troops fighting the war on terror. We need these bills so we can get our men and women in uniform essential equipment -- like additional armored fighting vehicles that are resistant to mines and ambushes.
Hey, ya know, I think Rummy's looking for a job. Let's have him look into getting those armored vehicles rolling, k? He's got the experience we need, and I think he knows lots about the right kind of stuff to get. None of that gypsy armor for our fighting men, nosirree bobaroonie. You want me to call him for you?
The American people expect their elected leaders in Washington to work together by passing responsible bills in a timely manner. I am confident that with good will on both sides, Democrats and Republicans can do this. We can meet our obligations to help poor children get health coverage. We can meet our responsibilities to the men and women keeping our Nation safe. And we can do our duty to spend the taxpayer's money wisely.
We do indeed, Mr. President. You're sure no stranger to wisdom, are you? It's slapped you upside the head enough times, I know.
Thank you for listening.
No, once again, maestro, thank YOU. For always being there, for telling us how to think, and correcting us from swaying off on any traitorous, tortuous, terrible, twisty, socialistic paths. A body could get lost in that wilderness, and I'm so glad you're here to keep me going the Right Way. I've got my lantern, and I have seen the light.