In yesterday's diary, I pointed to this article and asked if compulsory national service was a good idea. It turns out that about 55% of the respondents thought it was. I think it's one of the goddammed stupidest ideas ever. Poll results and my acid-laced rant follow...
Here are the poll results. My original belief that old farts are the driving force behind this idiot idea is born out.
<th>Age</th><th>Good idea</th><th>Bad idea</th><th>% Good</th>
0-29 | 3 | 10 | 23 |
30-39 | 3 | 5 | 38 |
40-49 | 16 | 7 | 70 |
50-59 | 9 | 7 | 56 |
60-99 | 9 | 3 | 75 |
For those of you out there who delight in slamming the Baby Boomers, please note that those of us in our 50s are not as fired up about this as our methane-inflicted neighbors appear to be. My goodness, what could account for this? Well, if you're between the ages of 50 and 59, then you were 18 years old between 1965 and 1974. So do you think that Vietnam and the draft could have something to do with it? Perhaps we aren't as self-centered as some (e.g. most columnists for the Washington Post) think.
So let's review some of the (to me) glaringly obvious reasons why compulsory national service is just a horrible idea...
What do you do with 5 million kids?
I hate to break the news to you, but there are about 5 million 18-year-olds in this country. What do you plan on doing with them? Where will they live? Who will pay to feed and clothe them? Any ideas? Any? OK... here's one... they can all provide national service by clearing brush in the national forests and living off of nuts and berries they find.
What about the 100,000 miscreants?
The romantics who are in favor of national service seem to believe that all 18-year-olds are fresh-faced kids-from-the-farm. Um... I've got another news flash: not all of them are. Many of them are just completely pissed about almost everything, and would rather spit on you than "drop and give me twenty". And the idea of giving these kids guns is beyond idiotic.
How many people will you need to administer this program?
One grown-up for each (maybe) 20 kids in national service? That's 250,000 full-time positions. Where do these people come from? Mexico? Are we ready to spend $25 billion a year on this?
How is this program phased in?
If I were a college administrator, I might be a bit worried about the fact that for a period of four years, the number of students will drop by 20%. If the program is implemented suddenly, then the entire freshman class is missing. If not that, then how do you do it? Do you allow some folks to wait until after college? (That sucks... spend four years and $100K learning about genetic engineering and then spend a year checking kids for head lice.)
But this works for Switzerland and Israel...
Yeah, and gay marriage works in Massachusetts. National service seems to be a great idea in dinky homogenous countries (or in totalitarian states like the USSR). Israel, in particular, makes this work because it must. If I were an Israeli, then from the moment I could stand I would be taught to understand that my country is under constant threat and that we must all do our part to keep it safe. That is certainly not the case here.
But what about "Keeping the Republic"?
Right... this is the thesis presented by Richard Stengel in the Time article. (What the hell does he mean by "Keeping the Republic" anyway? I'm sure Rick has some ideas on how we'll be able to measure progress...) A year of indentured servitude is going to make me feel better about my country?
Here's a hint to all you newly minted parents out there... you can't force your kids to respect you or have confidence in you... you have to earn their respect and confidence. You have to treat your kids with respect, set clear and simple rules that mean something, and keep the promises you make. The same thing goes for our country... when kids see what's going on and are constantly asking themselves "What the f**k are they doing?", then it's no surprise that confidence and respect for our government is low.
It's just a perpetual draft
The best for last. Suppose we had a national service program and F**ktard Bush is president. The only thing stopping him from invading Iran, Syria, North Korea, or any other piss-hole country is that he doesn't have the manpower. He needs to go to Congress an institute a draft. If he already had a National Service corps, then it's probably just an Executive Order to turn them all into soldiers. And we'd all be hosed.