Um-bah, I've really done it now. I used a Muslim word. If I had just kept my mouth shut, I could have avoided the inevitable torrent of criticism and invective that is about to reign down on me. I suppose I should pre-disclaim that I meant no offense towards Muslims.
And, yeah, the Edwards guys did their own little intifada last fall. Their surge was just as nasty and bitter. But Obamaphiles have something better than the Edwards people do.
They have a Movement.
They are zealous, our Movement Obamaphiles. We're not quite sure what the Movement is all about except it has something to do with Unity. I thought we already had a Unity movement with Mike Bloomberg whose goal it is to "teach the world to sing in perfect harmony" and let uber rich middle aged white guys tell us how to sit nicely and lower our voices when we talk to Republicans.
Maybe the Movement is about getting people to sit around the table and come to some consensus, complete with trained negotiator and meeting facilitator. Wow! That sounds cool. I hope we get lunch and free afternoon snacks. Hey, maybe we can leave early in the afternoon and go home and take a nap before picking up the kids. I really like the facilitators. They say things like, "That was a uniting thought, Goldberry. Thank you for your contribution." You never get affirmation like that in the real world.
Obamaphiles have it made. They can pour their whole heart into their Movement. And they can look down on we poor Kossacks who don't have anything to believe in. If only we would accept the Movement, our troubles would "melt like lemon drops a-way above the chimney tops". We could stop worrying about people who have lost their jobs and their health insurance and their houses. We could give them hope! And states that are deep in debt and can't cough up the money for SCHIP can use the power of their words to make it happen. And soldiers in Iraq who are on their third rotation can focus on the Change! that will come, just as soon as the embodiment of our Movement learns to do his job!
My mother likes Obama. She knows a Movement when she sees one. She's been telling me for 40 years that Armagedddon is just around the corner and if I just believe in her eschatological movement, I too will be Raptured away from this hell hole. I just have to have faith. I just need to believe. I tell her I go to a Presbyterian church but that's not the right church. It's not inspirational enough and it doesn't have The Truth. So, she is onboard with Obama because no one does hope like my mother.
Oh, I wish my candidate had a Movement. Then I wouldn't have to notice any of her shortcomings because Movements don't have human flaws. She could just give up her corporeal self and her history and just become ideals and a symbol of, I dunno, Competence!. Knowledge Base?! I know! Hard Workism!
Nah, that wouldn't work.
But Obamaphiles are not discouraged. We will be subdued to the faith even if they have to keep the Rec List Hostage Crisis going indefinitely and they Troll Rate every one of us. With the Movement at a critical mass, it's only a matter of time before we infidels submit. They answer to a higher calling.
Well, higher than the rest of us anyway.