theotherside's diary, Obama Republicans, as well as some of the more contrary comments it generated, got me thinking about my thoughts on "unity" versus partisanship in politics.
Whenever I think of Republicans in conflict with Democrats, I think of my father and I. And being a gay, left-wing vegetarian growing up as my father's son was challenging, to say the least.
I come from rather conservative parents, both of whom grew up in rural Nebraska in the fifties and have supported, more or less, the Republican candidates in presidential elections. I think my Dad likes the stern, authoritarian bent that Republicans have, and likes "not doing anyone any favors"; meaning few government services (welfare) and punishment over rehabilitation ("tough on criminals").
My background has given me at least one core insight that folks whose parents were more progressive might not have: despite his politics and prejudices, my dad is basically a smart, decent person with a lot to offer.
Of course, given the choice, he would change a lot of things about me: the way I look and present myself, the issues that matter and don't matter to me, even what I eat. And though I'd like to think otherwise, he probably would still want me to not love the person I love.
Doing everything the way my Dad wants me to is not an option.
My approach to my father throughout high school was to try and eliminate him from my life as much as possible. I would avoid spending time with him whenever possible. I would not talk about what was going on in my life, so I wouldn't have to hear his opinions. When I went off to college, I called and wrote very infrequently, and visited less and less.
I moved further and further west, first to the liberal midwest island of Chicago, then to San Francisco and Seattle, where I was surrounded by sensible, progressive folks who supported and encouraged me in ways my father never had.
But cutting my father out of my life, while it was good for my sanity at the time, was not a good long-term solution. I made periodic overtures to him, to try and open lines of communication, but found him still infuriatingly controlling and closed-minded. I would wait, and then try again after a while. I learned ways to hold on to the things that mattered most to me, while giving ground on the things that weren't essential. I watched for the same behaviors in him.
To some degree, it's worked. He avoids starting fights about politics. He's welcoming to my partner. He responds to my tentative attempts to share my life with encouragement rather than criticism. We appreciate and respect each other more than we used to.
The relationship that we have is what I might hope for between any Republican and Democrat. We do not compromise our core beliefs, but we give ground in order to keep our relationship healthy. We grow from the challenges that we present to each other rather than avoiding conflict altogether. We offer basic respect, civility, and friendship to each other, and we understand that our differences do not need to divide us permanently.
While I hope we get there eventually, I don't think this kind of environment is likely in U.S. politics any time soon. The entrenched Republican and corporate interests are not ready to be friendly and constructive. They've had no strong counterpoint over the past 14 years, and they've scaled new heights of corruption, greed and dishonesty. At this point, they will not give ground unless we take it.
So let's graduate from college, get a good job, get our apartment furnished, and gather our supportive friends and family. Then let's gather the will to finally confront all the bullshit from a place of confidence and strength.
We can do it without forgetting that we're all on the same side. We can do it without forgetting that—even though sometimes it's hard to see—we all ultimately think we're doing the right thing. We can be respectful in a way that many Republicans haven't.
What we cannot do is avoid conflict. We have a disastrous course to recover from, and it will not be done by splitting the difference between reason and madness. Avoiding the thorny conversations we desperately need to have will keep us from learning anything new, from hammering out the best solutions, and from learning to understand each other again.
Honest, respectful partisanship is a good path to a solid, unified country.
I think John Edwards understands this, and so I'm currently supporting him for the Democratic Presidential nomination. I don't think that Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama would make a bad President, but I think Edwards has a better grasp on what's needed right now.
I hope that the $250 donation I made today will help his voice be heard as long as possible, and that the themes of his campaign will live on with the eventual nominee, no matter who it is.