Oh there are so many things I could write about today - the FISA stand-off, Super Bowl predictions, poor Heath Ledger's family, but no, I'm going to write about primary season, and, just for kicks, since we seem to be celebrating the anniversaries of things lately, like Roe v. Wade, and "10 Years Since Monica," I thought I'd write in the motif of one of my all time favorite movies, Rushmore - also celebrating it's 10th anniverisary.
"Sic transit gloria" indeed.
(Note: This is the most irrelevant, half-assed excuse of a diary ever. Flip ahead at the risk of being both insulted and bored at the same time).
Rushmore was a sweet, indie comedy starring Jason Schwartzman as Max Fischer - a brilliant student who spends all his time on extracurricular activities instead of attending to his coursework at a tony private school called Rushmore. As a result of his dilletantism, he flunks out, but not before befriending (and falling in love with) a teacher at the school, Rosemary Cross (played by Olivia Williams), and, with the help of a rich industrial magnate/laconic man-child, Max Blume, played by Bill Murray, schemes to win her improbable affection.
Rosemary Cross: Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me?
Max Fischer: It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah
There's a little bit of Max Fischer in Barack Obama's improbable quest for the presidency. Like Max, he confronts conventional wisdom with optimism and intelligence and a disarming modesty. Yet, despite his charms, many are left wondering: wait a minute! A junior Senator from Illinois, only two years removed from the state legislature, is ready for the "Big Time"?
So I dedicate this quote to Hillary Clinton, the Rosemary in this race, asking the impertinent - and sometimes - crude questions about Obama's experience.
Herman Blume: You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you
Does any single candidate embody Herman Blume more than the "grown-up" in the Democratic Race, John Edwards? Okay, minus the chain-smoking and complete apathy. But you can imagine John Edwards giving a commencement speech like this at some tony prep school.
Max Fischer: Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks.
And again to Obama, the Max Fischer role. You see, like Max Fischer, Obama puts on some airs, with his noble fights for civil rights and ethics reform. But in the end, Obama's practical problem is with the female voter. Like Max, Obama needs to head into Super Tuesday "trying harder to score chicks" votes - and stop playing in the clouds.
Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're going to be. Well, yes...
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?
To this pathetic-yet-funny exercise in parsing, the Max Fischer role goes to Bill Clinton. In all of his defenses of his scurrilous attacks on Barack Obama's record and his alleged paean to Reaganism, Bill falls back into his favorite defense: Sophistry. Lay the innuendo on thick, and then defend the literal truth of what was being said. "You want me to grab a dictionary?" says Bill. "I can define the word 'is' however I want."
Dirk Calloway: Oh yeah and with friends like you who needs friends
Dirk Calloway - Max Fischer's adolescent best friend at Rushmore - represents all the partisan bloggers here at Daily Kos. We are all ostensibly on the same side, yet, the bickering has reached such a degree that, with friends like these, who needs friends? Who hasn't felt a little like Dirk Calloway these past few weeks?
But in the end, we will all end up remorseful like Dirk:
Dirk Calloway: [to Max] I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I threw rocks at you that day.
Yes, we will all be sorry for the rocks tossed.
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation.
Max Fischer: And what does that entail?
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: It entails that if you fail another class, you'll be asked to leave Rushmore.
Max Fischer: In other words, I'll be expelled.
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: That's correct.
In all honesty, this quote should be dedicated to both Hillary and Barack, as well as McCain but I will lay this one on Obama, for making less than a quarter of his votes since he's hit the campaign trail.
You all should note that, yes, indeed, a Barack Obama supporter is criticizing Barack Obama. Holy smokes!
Herman Blume: Why did you ask me to come here?
Max Fischer: Oh, I was going to drop that tree on you.
Herman Blume: That big one?
Max Fischer: Yeah.
Herman Blume: It would've flattened me like a pancake.
As Max and Herman vie for Rosemary's love, their rivarly grows increasingly violent. So, I dedicate this quote to Obama and Hillary, whose attacks are increasingly personal and vituperous, and who are threatening to annhiliate each other before either makes it to the general. Of couse, Max ultimately shows restraint, and does not drop the tree on Herman. Let's hope the candidates follow this example!
Herman Blume: So you've changed your mind and you want the job.
Max Fischer: No, I've got an idea and I need some money.
And last but not least, I dedicate this exchange to the quixotic quest of John Edwards. He recently admitted that he doesn't have a real 50-state strategy, but that he's hoping to stay in it to keep his populist message alive. Much like Max pushes forward to build his aquarium of love for Rosemary. You just can't keep a good man down, I guess.
Oh, okay - one more:
Herman Blume: She's sweet, but she's fucked-up.
Exactly how I think about Hillary, minus the sweet part. What, you thought you'd get all the way through a diary without a single HIT?