What do you tell a man who tells you.."You are not Mexican? I guess that means you came here legally" and bursts into laughter, eagerly echoed by his buddy? What if the same man also claims that the upcoming general elections will be between an American Hero and a Lesbo nut cracker? Oh and what if he adds that a "Niggerlite" might be her VP? Oh and Edwards being the Queer Eye candidate? There have been diary after diary about how divided we are about our choices for candidates in the primary, but perhaps this diary will illustrate what it is to be a Democrat in a Red State, and why despite my support for a candidate, I'd never demean another.
I was flying from Orlando to Dallas. The flight was delayed, and by the time we were seated, it was 45 minutes after scheduled departure time. We were waiting for take off, and had been advised to switch off our electronic appliances, or I'd have my headphones on and missed all of this.
I was seated between two men. They looked ordinary enough. Mike the guy to my left was short, stocky, blonde. Jake, the guy to my right was very thin, and fidgety. It was not like they were wearing white hoods, or brandishing Ann Coulter books. They seemed like ordinary guys. They were even flying coach. We exchanged polite hellos, and mildly complained about the delay. Jake mentioned that he hated Orlando. I kindly assumed it was because it was so commercial.
"Cubans!" he explained. "Can't order anything unless you speak Mexican."
"ALLO...CANNI TAKE ORDER PLIZ" Mike chimed in from the other end.
"I do not appreciate such racism." I said simply.
"It is not YOU." They explain. "We have nothing against immigrants. We have a problem against THEM ILLEGALS"
For a moment I looked for the television cameras. I was convinced I was the target of some elaborate joke, and Borat was somewhere waiting to say "sexy time".
I still somewhat unsure asked if they'd like to sit together, but Jake said he had plenty of beer and wished to remain at the aisle seat and Mike said he wasn't budging from the window.
I pretended to sleep. The conversation that followed was shocking. Maybe they were drunk, or maybe they believed no one could hear them...but the conversations between these two men was a revelation.
Some choice excerpts from the conversation that followed:
"I like McCain." Mike said. "I like a no nonsense approach to Iran. We can't trust the UN to do anything."
"Anyone of these guys can take the Democrats."
"Except Huckabee. I don't want some crazy wingnut running the party, scaring the moderates."
"I'd love to see McCain take on the Bitch Queen of LESBOS."
"Yes, and Hussein Mohammed her VP."
"Nigger Lite"
"Hahahahahahaha"
"I prefer Halfrican American."
"HAAAHAHHAHAHHA"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"What about that other fag running? Edward"
"Edward? Queer Eye called. They'd like their beauty expert back"
"Hahahhahahhaaa"
"Hahahahahahhhaaaaa"
"They have a nutcracker. And we have an American Hero."
"Even her own husband prefered a fat jew over her."
"Her husband had to use a cigar because she chopped off his c*** when they got married."
"Hahahahhahha"
"Hahahahahaha"
"And that Osama guy..."
"The liberal media is supressing this but apparently he is part of this Black Racist Church which is a front for this extremist muslim organization."
"He has been taking bribes from this guy linked to the mafia in Chicago called Tony Rezko."
"You know he was a drug addict right? Rezko was his dealer then, and now they are like close buddies. Rezko has given millions to his campaign"
Borat still didn't arrive.
The men asked the guy across the aisle who he was going to vote for. The man was white and middle aged, had a cowboy hat and boots, a belt buckle the size of a dinner plate and a big mustache. I cringed, expecting more Democratic Hate.
"Well, my first choice is Obama, then pretty much any Democratic candidate including Ms. "Nutcracker", then if I don't have a Democrat choice, I'll vote for a pile of dung, lung cancer, and a can of paint. If none of these choices are available, I am staying home."
"Same here." I echoed.
Jake rolled his eyes.
Mike turned to the window.
They were silent for the rest of the entire flight. The plane landed. As I removed my bag, Jake couldn't resist a parting shot to the man across the aisle.
"No patriot will vote for Obama HUSSEIN" he snarked.
"I am." a voice said. It was a young man in uniform. He nodded pleasantly to us and walked out of the plane.