[Author's Note: I have spent the last three months horribly torn between Edwards and Obama - literally almost changing my mind on a daily basis. I am incredibly saddened that JRE had to suspend his campaign today, and while I'm relieved that it makes my strategy much simpler for the WA State caucuses on 2/9...I still hurt for you hardcore Edwards folks]
There are a great many days that are burned into my brain for some reason or another in my life. First Kiss, playing in the mud, the time I almost drowned at the beach, being the officiant at my best friends wedding...
But on this day, the day that John Edwards has suspended his campaign, the one I keep thinking about is from almost exactly four years ago: Feb 18th, 2004 - the day Howard Dean suspended his amazing, game-changing, inspiring, heart-breaking run for the presidency.
It all began simply enough.
One day in March of 2003 I was driving home from work, listening to NPR, when (if memory serves) Robert Siegel began interviewing this doctor who had also been the Governor of Vermont - of whom I had never, ever heard a word.
Howard Dean began talking about the war in that interview, in a clear, cogent, questioning-authority kind of way that I had been craving to hear from anyone up to that point.
I was flabbergasted, and let out a "whoop!" every time he made a point I agreed with - which was every time he opened his mouth! I pulled my car over into a parking spot so I could listen to this interview...and by the time it was done, I was sold.
Howard Dean was saying everything I wanted to hear, and I knew I had found my candidate for President.
I went home that night, Googled Governor Dean, and read everything I could about him. I found Dean for America, and made a contribution online - that same night!
The next months were a blur. I became more active in politics that I'd ever been. I stood up for Howard Dean, and he stood up for me.
I volunteered with the campaign. I emailed friends and family in a way I'd never dared to before. I hosted MeetUps. I signed up with my local Democratic Party. I became a PCO for my precinct. I led the caucuses for my precinct.
And after the amazing roller coaster ride, after "frontrunner" and the Gore endorsement, and the "Dean Scream", and all the rest....
Howard Dean suspended his campaign on Feb 18th, 2004.
My heart broke.
I went and spent the evening drinking with the amazing friends I had discovered (and still have) from the campaign. We played poker. We cried. We couldn't believe it was over, and we screamed at each other that we could never support Kerry.
And somehow, we healed.
I ran for, and won, a position to be the Dean Alternate to the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston. One of our people didn't show, and I was seated at the convention every night.
And when the crucial moment came, I, like all my other Dean delegates, cast our vote for John Kerry in a show of party unity.
Oh, it hurt. It wasn't as heartfelt as it would have been if it had been electing Dean the nominee, but it still felt damn good.
And then I worked my ass off for the Kerry campaign.
Sometimes I wanted to spit nails I was so angry, or so convinced that Dean would have done better. But I worked!
My dear Edwards friends: John and Elizabeth stood up for the poor, the disenfranchised, the desperate--and for you. And you stood up for them.
But now that John has suspended his campaign, please, please, please, don't sit back down.
Don't vow you won't support XXXXX or YYYYY as our nominee.
Feel your pain, and scream and cry and yell....and then come back to our table here. Our big, imperfect, sometimes dysfunctional table that is DKOS and the Democratic Party, and keep working for what John and Elizabeth stand for.
Just like I'm still working for what Howard Dean stands for.
Trust me...the pain will fade...but we are all better because he ran, and because you believed.