The following evidence is entirely speculation, but c'mon. Obama likes jazz, Roy Ayers plays jazz, his last name is Ayers, therefore Obama hates America. It can't be more simple, folks.
I was listening to talk radio today, and a caller to the radio show started talking about Barack Obama, and his ties to Ayers. Then, the caller inadvertently let the cat out of the bag, and referred to him as "Roy Ayers."
That was when it dawned on me! All of this talk about the aging radical hippie guy Billy Ayers is just a front to distract from the real problem: RADICAL JAZZ VIBRAPHONIST ROY AYERS!
You need to look no further than Roy's wikipedia page to get a sense of the man's radical roots:
Ayers grew up in a musical family. At the age of five, Lionel Hampton gave him his first pair of mallets, which led to the vibraphone being his trademark sound for decades.
Why did Roy Ayers hate America so much that he needed a pair of mallets at age FIVE???
While five year olds today occupy themselves with more wholesome activities like playing Grand Theft Auto, Ayers instead played with the war hammers given to him by Lionel "Lenin" Hampton, who grew up in, you guessed it, Chicago. Eighty years later, Barack Obama is a presidential candidate from Chicago. COINCIDENCE???
Many have called Ayers a REVOLUTIONARY vibraphonist. What's next, Senator Obama? Prince and the Revolution?
It's time that this campaign got back to what's really important, So, Mr. Obama, it's time that you explain your relationships with folks like this:
At one point, I could swear I heard "Islam is the vibe."
UPDATE:
I've uncovered more footage of Ayers, playing with The Roots. This Ayers problem is bigger than I realized. Roy Ayers is ENORMOUS! And he bangs on buildings with his mallets!