Compounding the Obama terrorist associations, the Londom Slimes has revealed a new connection between Presidential candidate Barack Obama and another unsavory character, notorious slasher and serial killer Jack the Ripper, who like Bill Ayers, never expressed remorse for his crimes and was never punished for those crimes. While Barack Obama attended Columbia University in Chicago, a certain Joseph Brecht worked on the custodial staff. Obama was known to be friendly to Brecht, often stopping to greet Brecht in the halls on his way to class. It has also been rumored that Obama went so far as to purchase a box of Girl Scout cookies from Brecht on behalf of his daughter.
Brecht is the great, great grandson of a distant cousin to Ripper suspect Carl Feigenbaum.
When asked about the latest skeleton in Obama's closet, the McCain campaign issued the following statement:
This latest revelation begs the question that our campaign and America have been asking. What do we really know about Senator Obama? In addition to having a funny name, we now know that Senator Obama associates with terrorists and condones the brutal killing and mutilation of women. This goes beyond sexist remarks about pigs and lipstick. It proves that Senator Obama is not ready to lead America.
When asked about the Obama-Ripper connection Sarah Palin offered the following:
I don't know who Jack the Ripper is, but if he is a friend of Obama he must be a pretty bad guy. You have to ask yourself if people like Barack Obama and Jack the Ripper are the right people to send to Washington. I don't think so (wink). America needs a coupla mavericks like me and John McCain, not somebody with a stupid name like Barack Obama or Jack the Ripper. And why doesn't this Ripper guy use his last name anyway? I betcha it's cause he has something to hide just like Barack Hussein Obama.
Will the Jack the Ripper connection be the final scandal that dooms the Obama campaign? The McCain campaign hopes so. A McCain spokesman speaking anonymously told us that a new McCain ad featuring some scary footage from Ripper movies is being prepared. The ad suggests that an Obama Presidency will embolden serial killers and that the streets of America will be overrun with maniacal killers if Obama is elected. He predicts the ad should frighten voters into voting for McCain.